Here I would like to write about how I too "had a constant and ardent desire to advance in virtue" from 2010 onwards. Like the Little Flower, "I (too) received the priceless grace of my complete conversion". Though I did not pray for criminal Pranzini, I was no longer the same - Jesus was transforming me. Like the Little Flower, it was "the most beautiful" phase of my life - "the most filled with heavenly favours".
My heart was "kindled with new fires of zeal" and I started involving myself in the church. To begin with, I became the animator of my cluster in 2010 itself. This continued till the desire to be a Sunday school catechist crept into my heart in 2012. On the last day of the Bible studies when I was given my certificate, I expressed to my parish priest the desire to be a catechist. So when the new academic year began in June 2012, I was made a catechist for the Confirmation candidates. I was overwhelmed but took it up obediently. Then in November of the same year, I became an Extraordinary Minister of the Holy Communion because of one ailing uncle in my cluster who could not attend church. I started to get him homebound communion.
Though I taught the Confirmation students for three years honestly it was a little difficult for me. So when in 2014 I was allowed to teach Std VII, I happily took it up. Since then I have been teaching Std VII and I continue to be an EMHC. I have given up being an animator because I am unable to handle people.
So to be a catechist, like the Little Flower, I "developed a passionate desire for learning". Like her "not satisfied with the lessons of my mistresses", I took up to know more about everything. And "in a few months learned more than I had done in my whole" RCIA classes. "I yearned to love Jesus passionately" and "in those moments many precious graces were bestowed upon me". But "I had to pass through many a trial" to "sit down under His shadow whom I desired". These trials continue today as well as the Lord keeps testing my love for him. Every day I am faced with his pruning hook. Every day I fail him and every day I apologize for my failure. But as always the Lord continues to be patient with this sinner of His.
In this chapter, the Little Flower writes about her desire to enter Carmel at the age of fourteen and a half. When I was fourteen and a half I did not even know about Jesus leave knowing about Carmel. I first heard of Carmel in 2013 at the age of say 36. At the age when she desired to enter Carmel I lived in a place called Durgapur in West Bengal and played with my pink and white teddy bear which I had bought in 1990. She desired to enter Carmel and I desired to play with my Teddu and get married to my Prince Charming and have a daughter. The idea of marriage and a family always overshadowed all the fascinations of my life. I fantasized about getting married and having a beautiful family. It was the topmost desire. A home and a hearth of my own were all that I desired the most.
So when hubby said I want to marry a girl like you, I could not resist him. He reminded me of that home and that hearth of my own.
That's why when my father refused to give his consent for the marriage, the Little Rebel revolted. If the Little Flower faced hindrances to entering Carmel, the Little Rebel faced hindrances to entering matrimony. My father refused to sign the marriage affidavit wherein it was written that I would convert to Christianity. He was against this and so I removed that point itself from the affidavit. It was then that he signed. And the moment he signed my marriage affidavit I scrambled as fast as I could to hand it over to hubby who in turn gave it to the lawyer.
Like the Little Flower, I remember meeting the Bishop at the Bishop's house in Colaba where we were summoned for an interview before our marriage.
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