My Daughters

My Daughters
my cute daughters

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Carmelite monastery Goa

Last year on this day I had uploaded the pictures of the Carmelite monastery that I visited in Goa! Though I have not visited any other monasteries, I would like to believe that this is the most beautiful monastery in the world! 😍

How privileged I am to be a member of this Order! Thank you so much Lord for finding me worthy and making me a part of it through our Spiritual Assistant!

And I love its garden!

Out of all the saints of this Order, I feel closer to St. Elizabeth of the Trinity for three things:
- Her fiery temperament
- Defence background
- Love for gardening

No matter how great the others are, she's the one for me! 😍😍

My Window Garden

I have always loved two things in life - gardens and dogs!

Both have been my passion since childhood!

I tried keeping dogs at home but they are destructive; they chewed up everything at home! So I sent them to a farmhouse where they can freely chew on anything they want! I didn't allow them to destroy my home because I just love my home!

I have maintained my love for gardens because these plants only beautify everything around them; they don't destroy anything!

And so if at one hand I have become a dog hater, on the other hand, I still remain a garden lover! 😍

Friday, July 13, 2018

Allegiance to Christ!

Our Spiritual Director and other seniors always say that OCDS is not a pious association. OCDS is a commitment!

Commitment means "the state or qualify of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc". It also means "dedication, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity, bond, adherence, and attentiveness".

So, OCDS is all of the above and I am so priviledged to be a Secular Carmelite!

One word which is always used in OCDS is "allegiance" -- "allegiance to Christ" -- so what does this mean now?

Allegiance means loyalty or commitment to a superior or to a group or cause. So "allegiance to Christ" simply should mean "loyalty or commitment to Christ".

So, if OCDS is a commitment, and allegiance to Christ means commitment to Christ, OCDS simply should means "Commitment to Christ"!

So as a Carmelite my sole purpose is to be committed to Christ!!!

What can be more beautiful than this?

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Jubilee Cardozo of St. Mary Magdalene

Right now I am reading the autobiography of the Carmelite saint, Saint Therese of Lisieux!

The more I read the more I am inspired to write my feelings for Jesus Christ!

Though my professional writings have always been ridiculed, I am sure that Jesus will never ridicule my writings for Him.

I will keep on writing all my feelings for Him as and when I get them.

My writings are my only way of expressing my love for Him.

PS: Hey, I just remembered something which has nothing to do with my writings!

But it has everything to do with me being a Secular Carmelite!

So what if I am not a religious Carmelite; when I entered my novitiate on 14 December 2016, I took the name of St. Mary Magdalene!

After completing my journey of OCDS Aspirancy, when I entered into the formal stage of formation, I was vested with the Scapular and began my Novitiate and I took the religious name of St. Mary Magdalene...the patron saint of converts (like me)...!!!

Oh yes, how could I forget this!

So my heart, rejoice at this beautiful remembrance -- my religious name is Jubilee Cardozo of St. Mary Magdalene!!!

Carmelite Saints

From the time I have joined OCDS, we have been constantly told to read books on the life of Carmelite saints. Since these books are not easily available, I have downloaded few from the internet.

Last week I tried reading "Ascent to Mount Carmel" by Carmelite Doctor of the Church, St. John of the Cross. I just managed to go through the introduction -- I couldn't understand much so I gave up.

Then I read some of the writings of women Carmelite saints. I was filled with jealousy because they addressed Jesus as their 'Beloved' and in some places as 'Heavenly Spouse'. I am jealous because how, I too, wish to call Jesus my 'beloved'. But I have an earthly spouse whom I need to love with a sincere heart. He's my 'beloved'.

Though I love Jesus above all things and above everyone else, it is my foremost duty to love my earthly spouse and daughters. For this reason, Jesus will be my friend -- my bestest friend! Or rather a family friend!

He will be an intimate family friend and I am sure when we do "Lord, Lord" He will take all four of us with Him to our heavenly home.

But the women saints calling Jesus with such love expressions really fills me with jealousy. I might not read books written by them -- I would rather prefer reading books written by men saints!

Nevertheless, yesterday again it occurred to me that if the Lord had to touch my heart during my childhood itself, who knows I might have been leading a religious life right now. Since I came to know Jesus only after my marriage I am sure my marriage to a Christian was just the Lord's way to call me into His marvellous light. He had surely known me since the time of my conception; it was just that He had to make known to me!

Since the time He has made Himself known to me, I am His beloved child...He's is that father and brother whom I never got in my life!

Friday, June 29, 2018

Monastic Life

Yesterday while I was reading the history of the Order of the Discalced Carmelites, I was seized by the desire to go back in time -- the times of St. Tesera of Avila, its foundress!

She founded a small, close community of women who dedicated themselves to intimate and contemplative prayer. And they lived in monasteries!

I wanted to be in one of those monasteries; praying all the time! Praying and contemplating on the word of the Lord!

Soon I realized that I too could be in a monastery; I need not travel time! I need not be in the literal structured monastery as my heart was my monastery!

I realized that I could switch myself off from the disturbances of the world and settle down in the monastery of my heart -- perhaps this is what even Jesus had meant when He said, "Go to your room, shut the door and pray to your Father in heaven". I realized that my heart is my room, my cell in the monastery! It is here that I need to pray and contemplate; confine myself in the interior of my heart.

I understood one more thing -- the meaning of St. Teresa's book "Interior Castle". Though I haven't read it and know not anything about its contents, I realized that by "interior castle" she must have meant the interior of our heart. I don't know; I am not sure but I would like to believe that!

PS: After I finished writing this thought, I came across something which had been told to us around a week back.

We were told that "our hearts should be our oratory -- a small place to withdraw from time to time". I had written it down in my notebook.

When I came across this again now, I immediately checked the meaning of oratory -- it means a small chapel, especially for private worship. How happy I am to know this!

So this sums up my desire to lead a monastic life -- I need not confine myself within the walls of a structured monastery like the cloistered Carmelite nuns. As a secular Carmelite, I am to live in my heart's monastery and withdraw myself to its oratory from time to time to pray, contemplate and have an intimate relationship with Jesus!

Oh what an enlightening thought from the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Pain is temporary...

Prayers on her lips
Tears in her eyes
She loves Him with a faithful heart...

On a moonlit night
In the serene yard
Sits a solitary figure
Musing on her troubled past...

She vanishes into nothingness with her thousand unfulfilled dreams...
He stops her from fading away!
She's His most cherished dream!

Forlorn eyes, forlorn dreams
Pair of forlorn eyes look into the forlorn past!

Her eyes look for Him in the crowd...
Her heart cries in pain!
He turns away in sorrow,
Her world crumbles down again!