My Daughters

My Daughters
my cute daughters

Monday, November 13, 2017

That drop of blood…

I can still feel it on my left thumb though it fell on me some years back…

I cannot remember the exact year but most probably it was the second half of 2012. I had started working from home and would travel only for meetings and press conferences.

I remember very well that when that drop of blood fell on my left thumb I was in the train. I was going to Churchgate to attend one press conference at one of the hotel’s there. I guess it was Intercontinental and the venue was somewhere in the basement – it was GJEPC’s press conference!

So when this drop of blood fell on me I was shocked and felt very dirty. I wiped it off immediately wondering how it could fall on me in the train. I immediately looked at the ceiling of the train but I couldn’t find anything fishy. It was dry. I looked out of the train from the window. The train was moving fast and so nothing could come from outside. I kept looking everywhere and kept wiping my thumb to clean that sticky feeling.

Till date I have not been able to figure out from where that drop of blood fell on me.

But the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that it was nothing but Jesus’ blood.

Yes, it has to be Jesus’ blood because it was during that time that I was getting into many ministries. I had completed my two-year Bible course and become a catechist. Then I became an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion. So I am convinced that Jesus wanted to purify me and make me a new person to take on all these responsibilities. And that one tiny drop of blood of Jesus was enough to cleanse me and make me what I am today and to become in the years to come.

This can be the only mystery of that drop of blood because from where could that drop fall on me in the moving train. No matter what the world says, I am fully convinced that it was Jesus’ blood on my left thumb that purified me to make me a better person to serve in his vineyard.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Bhadralok Culture

According to Wikipedia, the Bhadralok Culture literally 'gentleman', 'well-mannered person' is Bengali for the new class of 'gentlefolk' who arose during British colonial times (approximately 1757 to 1947) in Bengal. It was created by the British for running the colonial state; the bhadralok was usually an educated, cultured and language-proud pen-pusher.

Their womenfolk were not likely to appear too freely in public in quite exiguous attire.

saat moholaa bari

Most of the zamindars in Bengali were living in saat moholaa bari or seven floor houses. A typical zamindari home would contain seven different mahals or palaces. The andar mahal (ladies inner quarters), baithak khaanaa (the parlour), naach mahal (the music room) , thakur bari (temple of deities), Durga bari (palace for durgotsav ) and two more which I am not aware of. This whole luxurious premise together would constitute one zamindar bari.

Such opulent display of wealth was only possible in rural settings. The zamindars of Calcutta, even if they had sufficient wealth, often did not manage to build seven palaces due to acute shortage of space in the bustling city.

The Seven Sorrows of Our Blessed Mother

1. The prophecy of Simeon: "And Simeon blessed them, and said to Mary his mother: Behold this child is set for the fall and for the resurrection of many in Israel, and for a sign which shall be contradicted; And thy own soul a sword shall pierce, that out of many hearts thoughts may be revealed" (Luke 2: 34-35).

2. The flight into Egypt: "And after they (the wise men) were departed, behold an angel of the Lord appeared in sleep to Joseph, saying: Arise and take the child and His mother and fly into Egypt: and be there until I shall tell thee. For it will come to pass that Herod will seek the child to destroy Him. Who arose and took the child and His mother by night, and retired into Egypt: and He was there until the death of Herod" (Mathew 2: 13-14).

3. The loss of the Child Jesus in the temple: "And having fulfilled the days, when they returned, the Child Jesus remained in Jerusalem; and His parents knew it not. And thinking that he was in the company, they came a day's journey, and sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance. And not finding Him, they returned into Jerusalem, seeking Him" (Luke 2: 43-45).

4. The meeting of Jesus and Mary on the Way of the Cross: "And there followed Him a great multitude of people, and of women, who bewailed and lamented Him" (Luke 23: 27).

5. The Crucifixion: "They crucified Him. Now there stood by the cross of Jesus, His Mother. When Jesus therefore had seen His Mother and the disciple standing whom he loved, He saith to His Mother: Woman: behold thy son. After that he saith to the disciple: Behold thy Mother" (John 19: 25-27).

6. The taking down of the Body of Jesus from the Cross: "Joseph of Arimathea, a noble counsellor, came and went in boldly to Pilate, and begged the body of Jesus. And Joseph buying fine linen, and taking Him down, wrapped Him up in the fine linen" (Mark 15: 43-46).

7. The burial of Jesus: "Now there was in the place where He was crucified, a garden; and in the garden a new sepulchre, wherein no man yet had been laid. There, therefore, because of the parasceve of the Jews, they laid Jesus, because the sepulchre was nigh at hand" (John 19: 41-42).

Aami jodi jomidar ginni hotam…

If I were a zamindar lady…

From the time I have come to know about my zamindari roots, I just can’t stop thinking about myself being a jomidar ginni or a zamindar lady. My mind is coming up with all kinds of ideas and I am daydreaming about my life in the zamindar era.

So, if I were a zamindar lady…

I would have been cooking zamindari cuisine…

I would have been one of the feudal classes then in Bengal, who were usually marked by arrogance…

I would have been a patron of Sanskrit literature and music…Also a patron of Sanskrit culture in Bengal…

My bor or husband would have had an extravagant life style…

My house or bari would have been situated on the southern banks of the Jalangi river in Krishnanagar…

I might have gone to visit Ghurni which is the neighbourhood of the clay artists…

My home would have had a thakur dalan for worship…

I would be performing nari bratas or magico-religious rites like the other womenfolk…

I would have been accustomed to the bhadralok culture…

As a rich jomidar ginni I would have stayed in seclusion in the andarmahals and the working women of my bari would have provided link to the outside world…

I would be living in a male-dominated society…

Sadly, I would have been economically and socially oppressed…

I would have had a deplorable condition like all other womenfolk of Bengal…

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Exaltation of the Holy Cross

Then the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people, so that many people of Israel died. And the people came to Moses, and said, "We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD and against you; pray to the LORD, that he take away the serpents from us." So Moses prayed for the people. And the LORD said to Moses, "Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and everyone who is bitten, when he sees it, shall live." So Moses made a bronze serpent, and set it on a pole; and if a serpent bit any man, he would look at the bronze serpent and live.
Numbers 21: 6-9

There’s a superstitious tale attached to the death of my ancestors. It seems that many generations back one of the patriarch’s killed a female snake. He killed her when she was romancing with her partner. So the male cursed my family saying that as he pines for his partner so shall all the males of my family pine for their females and die an early death. And looks like this thing happened for many of them. None of the male members of the family have ever been happily married. There always has been some marital problem.

But the females have been spared. May be because God always knew one female member of the family will ‘look up to the cross and be saved’…

Thank you, Jesus, for saving me…

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

It has begun…

Change is the only constant and it has begun in my life. Changes pain me a lot but I am forced to do so. Yesterday was the first change when I resigned from POPAI – an organization so close to my heart! It was POPAI which had opened its door for me when the entire world had closed it on my face. But I am sad to know that my resignation hasn’t made any difference in anyone – they are just the same! It has hurt me immensely…

Today was the second change that I made – I closed my LinkedIn account. I don’t want to keep any professional contacts. Nobody is of any use in times of trouble; it’s better to remain away from that world!

Though it is not a change as such, I am slightly worried about Googaa’s college admission. It’s working in my mind always and I am praying that she gets admission in a college where she studies well and not gets distracted by extracurricular activities around her. I am confident that Jesus is working out the best for her!

The third change is that I am back in an industry where I was earlier. Though this industry too is close to my heart, I am unable to enjoy it because of the above reasons. I am unable to go out full speed because of restrictions and inhibitions. I know it’s wrong on my part to be superstitious, but I am extremely superstitious of making a big hue and cry about my professional life. I have seen it crumbling down miserably in the past. So this time I am keeping quiet and not telling anyone of this change in my life. I have realized that people are jealous of one’s happiness. So I want to keep this happiness closely guarded in my heart. God forbid if anything goes wrong, no one will laugh and be happy on my misfortune!

Friday, March 31, 2017


Today’s Gospel passage (John 7:1-2, 10, 25-30) shows that the Jewish feast of the Tents was at hand and Jesus attended this festival “not publicly but in secret” – even when His life was threatened.

This Feast of Tents or Tabernacles otherwise also called the “Feast of Ingathering” was so important that even Jesus Christ, the founder of Christianity, took active part in its celebration. He addressed the people “in the midst of the Feast” as it is written: “Now about the midst of the feast Jesus went up into the temple, and taught.

This feast refers to the temporary dwellings that the Jews made to live in during this seven-day festival in memory of the period of wandering. The tabernacle was first erected in the wilderness exactly one year after the Passover when the Israelites were freed from their Egyptian slavery. It was a mobile tent with portable furniture that the people travelled with and set up wherever they pitched camp. The tabernacle would be in the centre of the camp, and the 12 tribes of Israel would set up their tents around it according to tribe. The instruction on how to build the tabernacle was first given to Moses in the wilderness, who then gave the orders to the Israelites.

God dwelled among His people in the tabernacle in the wilderness. He appeared as a pillar of cloud over the tabernacle by day and a pillar of fire by night in the sight of all Israel. The people would not set out on their journey unless the cloud lifted. It was an unmistakably powerful visual statement indicating God’s presence among them.

It should be pointed out that the Tabernacle (an ornamental locked box used for reserving the Communion hosts) today is no longer the movable tent building or booths in which the Jews dwelt during the Feast. For Christians, the Tabernacle is Jesus Christ, “the greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands…” (Hebrews 8:1,2; 9:11; Isaiah 33:20) Now that Jesus Christ, the Tabernacle of God is with his people in spirit, it is required of all to celebrate this Feast in his honour. – Revelation 21:3; John 5:23.

In the New Testament, John writes: “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.” (John 1:14) This word “dwelling” is the same word for “tabernacle” in the Old Testament. In other words, God came in living flesh to dwell or to tabernacle among His people. As He walked upon the earth and lived among the Jews, Jesus Christ Himself fulfilled the picture of the Old Testament tabernacle. In that and many other ways, as we will see, the tabernacle really was a prophetic projection of the Lord’s redemptive plan for His people.

Monday, February 27, 2017

3rd Catechist Recollection (26th Feb 2017)

Theme: Sin and Reconciliation

No human being can live as an individual – no person is self-sufficient. All of humanity is connected in a great web or network of relationships. And we can look at these relationships at four levels:

• the relationship with God
• the relationship with nature
• the relationship with others
• the relationship with self

The beautiful thing about life is that we are always in relationship. This beauty gets diminished when we do things to spoil the beauty. In the past sin has often been seen as an individual act, something that gets me in God’s bad books, and that can be rectified by a confession. Today more than ever we need to recognise that sin damages relationships deeply and to remove sin we have to be committed to restoring healthy relationships.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Entrance Hymn - 22nd Feb, 2017...

Celebrate God with your hands,
Celebrate God with your voice,
Celebrate God in all that you do,
And he will be with you.

Listen to Him with your eyes:
Listen to Him with your heart.
Listen to Him as He speaks with you.
And He will be with you.

Touch Him in all those you love
Touch Him in all those you love
Touch Him in them and let them
touch you.
And He will be with you.

Celebrate God with us
Celebrate God with us
Emmanuel, Emmanuel
Celebrate God with us.

Friday, January 6, 2017


Glossophobia or speech anxiety had badly hurt my professional life. I could neither speak in a meeting nor give a presentation. I would feel nervous, my palms would sweat, my stomach tied itself into knots…I just didn't want to do it. And when I did, I would be ridiculed.

In the personal front, too, the scenario was just the same. I had to do a Church Reading on Pentecost Sunday (May 23, 2010). It was my first time.

After the practice, it was finally time for me to go up on the altar and do my Reading. My heart was pounding because for the first time in my life I would be on the altar in front of so many people in the church. I was to do the Second Reading. In my nervousness, I didn’t adjust the mike and it was far away from my mouth. Later on I was told that I was inaudible. I felt so bad. It was my first time in the church and I had goofed up there too. It wasn’t a nice feeling. But the feeling that it was a Pentecost Sunday and that I was reading for my Jesus Christ, kept me going. Whatever it was, Jesus had given me the opportunity to read and I was sure that though others couldn’t hear, Jesus must have heard me distinctly. That kept me going.

I was happy that at last I had got this golden opportunity of my life to Read. I promised myself that if given another chance, I will make sure that everything goes smoothly…if only…

And yes, I was given many more opportunities to read after that miserable incident. Since then I have learnt to quieten my mind through prayer and meditation and these have helped me read and speak better in public.

The reason I am writing this is that yesterday I spoke at a get-together – unprepared!!!
I was the emcee for our Konkani-English OCDS get-together…

For the first time I didn’t have to control my nervousness because there was none at all… :)

Thank you Jesus for giving me opportunity after opportunity to speak in front of an audience and helping me get rid of the fear of speaking in public… I have finally conquered my fear of public speaking…