My Daughters

My Daughters
my cute daughters

Monday, March 19, 2012

Rejoice Sunday

Yesterday, 18th March, was Rejoice Sunday. Rejoice Sunday denotes the fourth Sunday of the season of Lent and is also known as Laetare or Rose Sunday because the golden rose sent by the popes to Catholic sovereigns used to be blessed at this time. The term ‘Laetare’ Sunday is used predominantly, though not exclusively, by Roman Catholics and Anglicans. The word translates from the Latin ‘laetare’, singular imperative of ‘laetari’ to ‘rejoice’.

This Sunday is also known by some other names such as Mothering Sunday, Refreshment Sunday, and Mid-Lent Sunday (in French mi-carême). I believe its called Rejoice Sunday as its mood and theme is one of hope and rejoicing that Easter is near.
Rejoice Sunday was indeed full of rejoice for me and Golu. Firstly, we both completed our two-year diploma course in Bible studies and yesterday we were given our certificates. It was such a proud moment for us both – for two long years we perseveringly studied the Bible – right from Genesis to Revelation and so this certificate is so very precious for us.

Secondly, I registered myself as a Sunday school teacher and when the Sunday school reopens in June, I will hopefully be teaching one of the classes there. One of my exclusive reasons for studying the Bible was to become a Sunday school teacher.

Thirdly, and most importantly, I attended my first ever inner healing retreat yesterday at our church. And guess what? This inner healing retreat was by none other than Sister Usha Mary. Actually, this retreat was scheduled from 16 to 18 March in our parish but I could attend only the last day. Though I missed out the first two days, I felt so wonderful even on the last day. That is why we celebrated and rejoiced over this weekend!

And in celebrating we were reminded that we have much to rejoice in with our God; rejoice because we are half way through Lent; Easter will be here soon.

Rejoice Sunday! Rejoice Always. Rejoice in the Lord always; pray without ceasing. Give Thanks in all circumstances. Alleluia……

Friday, March 16, 2012


“Change my heart oh Lord, make it ever new; change my heart oh Lord, may I be like you”

According to Wikipedia, change means “the process of becoming different” and this is exactly what I had wanted last year around the same time. At long last, this change has been in effect from 13th March, 2012.

Well, the dictionary meaning of change is “to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone” and according to Stanford encyclopedia of philosophy “change is so pervasive in our lives that it almost defeats description and analysis. One can think of it in a very general way as alteration”. In a nutshell, the course of my life has altered.

It is also written somewhere that “change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through ‘continuous struggle’ and so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom” because he who rejects change is the architect of decay. And so I didn’t reject it; I welcomed it positively with my arms open wide. And of course after much brainstorming and with due approval from my Golu because as Mahatma Gandhi said I wanted to “be the change that (you) I wished to see (in the world) me.

They always say time changes; it indeed has – for me!

Change is hard for most people and I am finding it a bit difficult to acclimatize myself with this change. Right now it is all Greek, Hebrew and Latin for me but I am sure I will be able to familiarize myself in a while provided the change doesn’t change itself. Things are not all that hunky dorie and systematic and punctual at home right now (as it used to be earlier). Nothing happens on time nowadays but I am sure everything will be alright soon. “There are no worries”. Hakuna matata!!!

Change can sometimes be scary and truly I am little apprehensive about this change. But it’s a welcome change which I had so much wanted around this same time last year. It has finally happened this year – the year of the dragon!

I hope I will enjoy and sustain this change. It’s said that “when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” because this will give me my much needed sabbatical which I had been yearning for quite some years now. Hopefully I will be able to pursue a lot of other beautiful things which I have always wanted to do it my life.

The adventure of life is to learn and I am learning this change. And I really have to learn a lot for this change. I have started from scratch and I hope I will be able to excel in this. The challenge of life is to overcome and I am confident that I will be able to overcome all challenges provided the change doesn’t challenge me.

People look for ways to make changes in life, to make things more positive and uplifting and so have I.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Forgiveness —the key to healing!

“Christians are to have a heart of forgiveness, such as Christ displayed upon the cross” (Luke 23:24)

A central belief in inner healing is that we are the way we are because of past hurts that need to be forgiven. According to Wikipedia, forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

According to a health website, forgiveness and letting go can lead one down the path of healing and peace. PSYCHOLOGICAL TODAY says: mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action recommended by most psychologists.

But I guess forgiveness is difficult. Forgiving someone for a hurt is not that easy; a desire for revenge comes much more naturally though I am genuinely trying and in my heart I have already asked for forgiveness from my immediate family members. I have to offer and receive forgiveness otherwise all my efforts of leading a painless life will be useless.

As William Blake says “the glory of Christianity is to conquer by forgiveness” likewise, the Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us. Forgiveness is a huge subject and certainly one in which the Bible is not silent. Every Christian knows that Jesus instructed us that forgiveness should have no limits. In the New Testament, Jesus speaks of the importance of Christians forgiving or showing mercy towards others. Jesus is asked how many times one should forgive and He said 70 times 7. The Bible forgiveness starts with God, the ultimate Forgiver. God is love and without love, the Bible forgiveness is impossible for us to achieve on our own.

Forgiveness may or may not lead to reconciliation. Forgiveness is not a thin surface patch on a relationship, but an inner change of heart toward the offender. Forgiveness is the biggest blessing to mankind from God.

While I ask for forgiveness from everyone; I also want others to forgive me – right from my conception till date – I want to forgive everyone because unconditional forgiveness is a decision, a definite act of the will and not just a feeling. I want to step out in faith and make the decision to forgive so that Christ too forgives me!!!

The following steps summarize what we need to do to forgive:
• Pray to the Holy Spirit for strength and guidance.
• Make a commitment to God that we are forgiving the offender.
• Make a decision that we will never ever bring up the subject of the offence again, make this commitment to God.
• Make the decision to pray for the offender.

Inner Healing

On 4th March I bought a book from the church – “Hidden Springs to Healing” by Sister Mary Usha. I just finished reading it and I realized that “forgiveness” towards everyone is the key to inner healing. The answer to all my aches and pains and emotional turmoil is inner healing or the healing of memories—a process dependent on reconciliation, forgiveness and prayerful discernment through which Jesus Christ brings His healing and peace.

I so much want to attend Sister Usha’s retreat on inner healing but sadly it’s always stretched over a period of five days and I don’t know from where to get these five days.

Inner healing is also known as healing of memories or healing for damaged emotions. In the inner healing process, the struggles in our present life are found to be rooted in early experiences in our childhood. Studies show that a baby in-utero knows whether it is wanted or not, even recognizing the voice of its parents. I know my problem lies here because way back in 1999 my father had blurted out in anger that my mother had never wanted me and I was wounded; this is known as in-utero wounding.

Thomas Verney in his book “The Secret Life of the Unborn Child” confirms that there is active life in the womb. His research indicates:
• Unborn babies hear, taste, feel and learn in the womb.
• Womb experiences shape a child’s attitude and expectations about himself.
• Deep persistent patterns of feelings in the mother affect the unborn child.
• A father’s feelings about his wife and the unborn child also affect the pregnancy.
• If the womb is friendly, a baby may be predisposed to good health, happiness and normal development; if the womb is unfriendly, the baby may be predisposed to ill health, nervousness, irritability, and arrested development

For this, parents may give abundant affection to their offspring and it may be sufficient to cover the wounding. I am glad that the “womb experience” of both my daughters was friendly!!!

But in my case, it will take the light of Christ to reach deep within my heart to bring light into the darkness of sin and wounded feeling. In that light is truth to counteract the lies I accepted, forgiveness for self and others, spiritual and emotional healing that will close the wounded feeling.

I said, Lord, be merciful and gracious to me, heal my inner self, for I have sinned against You. Psalm 41:4

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds (curing their pains and their sorrows.) Psalm 146:3

He who believes in Me (who cleaves to and trust in and relies on Me) as the Scripture said, From his innermost being shall flow (continuously) springs and rivers of living water. John 7:38

Though my healing will occur over time, I am glad that I have at least begun to realize that I need to be freed from what I have been held captive. Though the healing will not change the hurtful things that have happened to me, it will definitely allow God to heal my wounded spirit.

So like I said, I want to undergo an inner healing in me. Jesus who loves unconditionally is imagined into our past in order to heal our childhood wounds. In the process of inner healing, Jesus uncovers those painful memories piece by piece and our inner heart is healed through His power.

I already feel that all this reading has brought about a personal transformation and miniscule healing in me. I believe praying the rosary for inner healing has real effects in many ways, but most of all it is bringing an inner peace.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


Tomorrow, Thursday, March 8, 2012, is International Women’s Day (IWD).

Though this day is observed since the early 1900s; IWD was originally called International Working Women’s Day. It is all about celebrating the vital role women play in “enhancing the economic security for their families, communities and even countries”.

But I find all this gaga about IWD a total crap and so this year I would like to dedicate this day to the ultimate woman of all times – MARY – the mother of my Lord Jesus Christ who is fast becoming my greatest source of inspiration! I don’t want to delve on women’s “equality and achievements” but on Mary who is the biggest driving force of my life right now. IWD was commemorated for the first time on 19th March, 1911, in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland but for me IWD should be on the day when Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and she said an instant YES. In Christianity this day is known as the Annunciation which falls every year on 25 March! I guess the date of IWD should be shifted to this day as according to me this is the perfect day to celebrate IWD. I don’t know why people haven’t yet dedicated the day of Annunciation as the ultimate day for WOMEN – after all, on this day, Mary didn’t think twice before saying YES to God! It was because of this one YES that the entire human race was redeemed.

My research says that in England the day of Annunciation is called the Lady Day. ‘Lady’ is synonymous to ‘woman’ and so there’s a saving grace here and I want to praise the Lord for this!

Now coming back to Mary’s YES to God I feel that it was a choice made in perfect freedom. She said this from her own free will – I like this freedom as a woman. I like her deep faith as a woman and that’s why she is my idea of that superior WOMAN – in fact she should be the strength and a source of inspiration for all the modern women out there on this great day. I believe it is she who should be honored and all accolades and awards should be conferred on her instead of the CEOs and MDs of big multinational companies. She should be HAILED as she’s our role model in the true sense!

I feel that Mary’s YES is her gift to God and to all humanity and I really want to thank her on this IWD as saying YES to that one call changed her life forever. I feel even I should be able to say that YES to God at all times!

In one of the books I recently read on Mother Mary, Dr. George Kaitholil SSP writes that “Mother Mary enjoyed being a woman”. Even I want to ENJOY being the WOMAN God created me to be and I thank Him profusely for the two wonderful little WOMEN in my life.

So, Happy International Women’s Day!

PS: This day I also happen to complete two long years in blogging. So here’s wishing me a very happy blogging for the rest of my life…!

Monday, March 5, 2012

The color white

“White is not a mere absence of color; it is a shining and affirmative thing, as fierce as red, as definite as black...God paints in many colors; but He never paints so gorgeously, I had almost said so gaudily, as when He paints in white” – G. K. Chesterton

White symbolizes purity and joy and for this very reason, the color of my birthday this year is white which also projects cleanliness and neutrality. It also stands for innocence. Physically it aids mental clarity, encourages us to clear clutter or obstacles, evokes purification of thoughts or actions and enables fresh beginnings. How apt!

It seems the ancient Greeks wore white to bed to ensure pleasant dreams. In Christianity, a white lily represents the Madonna (another name for Mother Mary) and in the Bible, white represents the color of “light” and is an emblem of the “divine”.

Also, white means holiness and is the Christian color for all high Holy Days and festival days of the Church Year, especially the seasons of Christmas and Easter. The Pope is associated with the color white and it is used for baptism, marriage, ordination, and dedications.

Here I would like to quote one text from the Bible – “Then I looked, and behold, a white cloud, and seated on the cloud one like a son of man, with a golden crown on his head, and a sharp sickle in his hand” (Rev 14:14)

Elsewhere in the Bible, white color refers to manna (Exodus 16:31), righteousness (Revelation 19:8), forgiven sins (Psalms 5:7), the garments of angels (Revelation 15:6), gravestones (Matthew 23:27) and the throne of judgment (Revelation 20:11). White also means beauty (Song of Solomon 5:14) and costly decorations and wealth (I Kings 10:22).

According to Pantone Inc., white is the best selling color for the classic American t-shirt and can you believe, more shades of white are available commercially than any other color?

White reflects light and is considered a summer color and isn’t July a typical extended summer season all across the globe?

And ahem!!! I have already started saving money for my first-ever platinum jewellery which I intend to buy for my birthday this year. And what do you think platinum is? It’s a natural WHITE metal with a rich and distinctive color tone. Platinum is one of the rarest elements in the Earth’s crust and has a rich, clean color. Though the platinum’s color is similar to white gold it is a much purer light color and in the present circumstances, is a better investment than gold.

According to Wikipedia, platinum’s name is derived from the Spanish term platina del Pinto, which is literally translated into "little silver of the Pinto River". It is a dense, malleable, ductile, precious, gray-white transition metal. In 2010 July it was announced that platinum is present in the state of Tamil Nadu.

I guess I have already mentioned in some of my previous posts that this year I don’t have to buy any new clothes for my birthday. During the triple celebrations in 2011, I over purchased and so many of my clothes are still unworn. So I will be wearing all these for my birthday this year. I have to only buy some footwear to match my dresses and I feel like buying a sparkling silver sandal or a silver dress shoe for myself as they are usually made of more delicate materials such as suede, silk, or even satin. I believe silver dress shoes really take a center stage when it comes to looking ones best and like every year; I want to look my best for 2012 birthday as well. Just keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Friday, March 2, 2012

4th March 1999 till date…!

My Google search for 4th March, 1999, produced a lot of political happenings over the past thirteen years. But for me, I guess, the biggest event of any kind on this great day back then was the bringing together of two lonely souls on earth. Yes, this is the day we met thirteen years back!

Now another round of search on number ‘thirteen’ highlighted that THIRTEEN is a 2003 American drama film directed by Catherine Hardwicke, and written by Hardwicke and Nikki Reed, the film’s co-star. Well, I have never heard about this movie and so what should I do?

It also happens that THIRTEEN is one of America’s most respected and innovative public media providers. Hmm, this sounds interesting!

But my religious research on ‘thirteen’ enlightened me that a great superstition has always surrounded the number 13 as it is considered unlucky or dark. But luckily (according to Wikipedia) in Roman Catholicism, the apparitions of the Virgin of Fátima in 1917 were claimed to occur on the 13th of six consecutive months. In Catholic devotional practice, the number ‘thirteen’ is also associated with Saint Anthony of Padua, since his feast day falls on June 13. A traditional devotion called the ‘Thirteen Tuesdays’ of Saint Anthony involves praying to the saint every Tuesday over a period of thirteen weeks. Another Devotion – St. Anthony’s Chaplet – consists of thirteen decades of three beads each. So there’s nothing to fear about the number 13. The Lord is with us!

But the greatest support here with 13 is that at Jesus Christ’s Last Supper, there were ‘thirteen’ people around the table, counting Jesus and the twelve apostles. Praise the Lord!!!

The mention of ‘thirteen’ is in connection with Ishmael, Genesis 17:25. He was thirteen years old when Abraham circumcised him and admitted him into the covenant to which he was a stranger in heart, and which ended in his rebellion and rejection. But this is Old Testament (OT) and I am more of a New Testament (NT) person and just love reading and believing in it and so the Lord turns the number of rebellion into the number of love in NT. John, the beloved disciple, tells us to “love one another” eleven times. The first occasion is in the thirteenth chapter of John, verse 34, where he uses the phrase twice. The Apostle Paul uses “love one another” two more times, for a total of ‘thirteen’ occurrences of this phrase in the NT.

In addition, the “love” chapter of First Corinthians is chapter ‘thirteen’. And in it Paul lists the attributes of love (or charity). There are thirteen attributes. And I love Paul for this because he has been a great instrument in changing my heart – I owe St. Paul a lot for my new found spirituality!

So I just want to praise the name of the Lord now and forever and for the thirteenth year of our togetherness. On this beautiful day I pray to Jesus from the bottom of my heart that I be forever faithful to my Golu; not only in this life but for the next thirteen lives (if) I get on this earth. Amen