My Daughters

My Daughters
my cute daughters

Thursday, March 31, 2011

“Recalled to life”

Last night, I did something which I haven’t done since a long, long time. I watched the India-Pakistan semi-final match in the ICC World Cup tournament. I was glued to the television set and hooted and cheered every time a Pakistan wicket fell. I totally lost control of myself and trust me, it really felt nice. I really enjoyed it immensely. I guess I need to do this quite often.

While watching the match, I also saw Aamir Khan and Waqar Younis. That regenerated me all the more. It was so exhilarating to see my second most favourite cricketer after such a long gap. He’s the coach of Pakistan cricket team now.

I have altered so much. I can’t believe that I am the same person who used to be so crazy for Sanjay Manjrekar and Waqar Younis. I used to collect their photographs and make a point to watch all matches played by them. I entered journalism only because of Manjrekar and with the ambition of meeting him. Well, I did meet him while I was a trainee at “The Free Press Journal”. That was on 2nd October, 1997. I will never forget this day and the moments I spent with Manjrekar as a journalist. My dream of interviewing him came true that day but I also lost something. I guess I lost the madness of becoming a sports journalist because of the cold treatment I received from him. I found him very ‘khadoos’. I couldn’t believe that he was the same Manjrekar whom I had ‘adored’ so much and been so ‘close’. I guess all my teenage fantasies were shattered that day by the cold treatment I got from him. Slowly, the craze for him faded and once he retired from cricket, I didn’t bother to keep track of his personal as well as cricketing life. I guess if he had to show a little ‘warmth’ towards me, I wouldn’t have ‘left’ him. May be he took my feelings for him in a wrong way and thought I was just another crazy fan looking out for God knows what. Whatever it is, his craze was subsided soon after this meeting and with that the craze for cricket as well. Then slowly Waqar and Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, my most favourite tennis player, also moved out of my life. It was the phase when I had to get hold of my life. I had started working and had no time for hobbies.

Then work pressure and matrimony and motherhood took centre stage and all my favourite pastimes like watching cricket and tennis, keeping a scrapbook, and other so-called ‘trivialities’ were pushed into the backburner. I could only manage to keep the habit of reading and listening to music. Music - because it can be kept on in the background, while I can continue with my domestic chores. Reading because I need to travel in the train to go to work! That’s the reason I like to travel by train – I can read! But of late, though I feel guilty of intruding into the family time, I have started reading at home also. I just can’t help it. I need it……..

But I am sure I have been “recalled to life” after watching this India-Pakistan match. There’s this urge to continue with my teenage life – like watching cricket and tennis, collecting photographs of Manjrekar, Waqar and Arantxa – and sticking them in my scrapbook. I want to do all this all over again…….Just the other day, Jemimah was asking for a scrapbook and I didn’t get it for her. So now, instead of one, I will buy three scrapbooks – one for Jemimah, one for Jewel and one for me……I want to bring back a bit of my childhood and teenage days……all that was good………….I want to relive my life…………..backwards………………..!!!

Just the thought of it makes me feel so good 

Noruwei no Mori

“……I don't want to waste valuable time reading any book that has not had the baptism of time. Life is too short” says a character from ‘Norwegian Wood’ (NW), the e-book which I am currently reading. It is a 1987 novel by Japanese author Haruki Murakami. Its Japanese version is Noruwei no Mori (whatever it means)! Well, I am not a very ‘novel’ person but I like this one. It was recommended by someone. This same someone had recommended ‘Les Miserables’ also by Victor Hugo which I had found so boring and stopped reading after a few pages. So I wasn’t reading NW till yesterday. I wasn’t sure about the story. It is my reading rule - I don’t go by recommendations. I like to go by my own judgment - I won’t blame anyone if I go wrong!

But NW is a nostalgic story of loss and sexuality and mental illness and everything that I don’t like. I am just into the story and I guess I like all these which I just mentioned as not liking. That’s why I am taking the trouble of writing about the book in my blog. Before this e-book, I finished the print version of ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ by Charles Dickens and ‘The Age of Innocence’ by Edith Wharton. In these two books, there wasn’t anything that appealed to me or touched my heart though at times I did like the latter one. But it didn’t have the capacity to ‘move’ me. I left ‘Ben Hur’ midway. Then I read a few short stories by Guy de Maupassant but NW is doing the ‘works’ for me. Though I might not like to agree, it’s a good change. But don’t know how long this change can be sustained………………

PS: I guess I am turning out to be a book reviewer 

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Mother Mary

From yesterday, I have started saying the rosary on my own in the train. Since I have finished reading the Old Testament (OT), I thought I should be praying in the train before getting started with the New Testament (NT). Today was my second day in the train and while I was saying the rosary, I was enchanted by Mother Mary. She got me thinking.

She was barely 15 when angel (Gabriel) of the God appeared to her and told her that she will be conceiving a baby boy by the power of the Holy Spirit. What makes me think is that any girl at that age would have got flabbergasted and would have been so much scared hearing all this. But I guess as she was truly chosen by God to be the mother of His son Jesus Christ, she didn’t doubt or question the angel or anyone. She took it so positively and in fact must have felt so proud to be the chosen one. No wonder then Roman Catholics still revere her so much.

I wanna be like her. In fact, when I went for my Christmas confessions, the priest had told me that I was like mother Mary of my home and my children look up to me for guidance and love and also as an individual. He had told me to be patient and calm like her but at that time I had found it little disturbing because I thought how could he compare me with Mother Mary. After all, she is the mother of our Saviour and how can I, a sinner, be compared with her.

But now while writing this I can fully get the picture. What he actually meant was that I should be inculcating the love and affection of Mother Mary for Jesus and be loving and affectionate to my children just like her. And honestly, I really need a lot of patience because patience is something I just don’t have.

Take today’s example. Goldie has an eye infection and has to be given eye drops regularly. But since she is taking eye drops for the very first time, she was getting scared of the liquid falling in her eye. She was refusing to take the medicine. And I kept screaming and shouting and threatening. I lost my temper and forced the drops into her eyes.

What I actually needed during this time, and for that matter always, is patience. The patience of Mother Mary. I need to be calm and composed like her in the trials and tribulations of my everyday life. Now I can fully comprehend what the priest was trying to tell me by making that statement.

So while saying the everyday rosary, I need to put in the petition for calm and composed mental frame of mind just like Mother Mary. Also, to be loving and caring like her because nowhere in the NT has she been shown reprimanding Jesus for anything. When she and Joseph came searching for Jesus in the temple, though they are shown to be worried for him, they don’t rebuke him. Instead they express their concern for him, speaking sweetly, without getting angry a bit.

So even I want to speak sweetly with Jemimah and Jewel and not use harsh words for them. I want Mother Mary’s tranquil composure and patience to guide me whenever my kids are wrong. I wanna chide them in a loving manner. I want to be a tower of patience like her. I ask for this grace from my Jesus and his mother…Amen.

What a spectacle(s)!

Yesterday while getting Goldie’s eyes checked by the ophthalmologist, I too got my eyes checked. I have been getting persistent headaches every evening from last so many months now that it just drives me crazy. I yell and scream and loose my temper at the drop of a hat every evening because of these headaches. So I wanted to get my eyes checked as too much reading in the train could be one of the reasons for this.

The oculist told me that my right eye, which already has a number, has got a further number and even my left eye has a number now. All these because of the continuous strain on my eyes while working on the computer and constant reading in the train! Well, I just can’t help it. I cannot give up working on the computer (that’s something I have to do) and also reading in the train or anywhere else on earth. For me, reading is like breathing and how can I stop breathing. I will die. Exactly!

So there’s only one solution and that is to change my spectacles. Now eyeglasses are going to be a permanent adornment for my eyes because the optometrist was saying that since I have a ‘number’ before the age of 40, I need to keep wearing them all the time or else I will keep getting these headaches. So today I am going for my new pair of glasses. I want a turquoise blue frame for me for special purposes and this existing one I plan to use for general purpose and to wear all the time. Let’s see whether my plans are in my favor or not.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


My soul is extremely restless today…I am unable to concentrate in my work….I am unable to read….in fact, the same Ben Hur whom I had applauded so much in my last post, holds no ease for me today….In fact, I just gave up reading it….now I am in search of a new book but again I am unable to do so….ahhh, I am just going mad….

Something is bothering me….dunno what exactly….something unseen….something unknown…..can’t name it, can’t place it, can’t figure it out….or do I actually have a name for me….is it FB? The truth is that I am unable to access FB from my mobile since yesterday afternoon. There seems to be some network error. So is it that that’s bothering me so much? But then it’s my decision to remain “hidden/hibernated” during the entire Lenten season. So I shouldn’t be cribbing about it at all. But like I said, I don’t know what exactly is pestering me so much.

PS: I ain’t that restless now….I just managed to go through FB on my mobile. The smile’s back on my face. I am sure now… unknown, unnamed and unseen devil was no one but FB… had to be!!! Oh Lord, why am I like this?

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Ben Hur

From last one week, from 11th March to be precise, I am reading ‘Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ’ written by American general and author Lew Wallace. It is an 1880 novel and the author’s best-seller.

My decision of reading religious/spiritual books during Lent made me pick up this e-book. I have an old second-hand printed version of Ben Hur in my library which I had bought from an old paper mart back in 2007-08. I had liked it at that time also. May be that’s why I wanted to read it again. Whatever it is, I am again enjoying reading BEN HUR which is a dramatic story set in Biblical times.

Actually the story intertwines the life of Jesus with that of a fictional protagonist, the young Jewish prince named Judah Ben Hur, who suffers betrayal, injustice and brutality, and sent into slavery by his Roman friend Messala. He gets separated from his mother and sister and longs to be back with them.

Since the tale revolves around two story lines – that of Jesus and Ben Hur – it begins with the three Kings pursuing the Star and the Holy Spirit which leads them to Baby Jesus. The second King happened to be a Hindu, a Brahmin at that, who was in search of Love and this love ultimately led him to Jesus. This is something I have liked the most.

Again, as happens with me, I am drawn towards Judah (Ben Hur), the protagonist, who is innocent but falsely accused. My heart goes out for him. And then there is Jesus. So the story has to be truly enticing.

So Ben Hur becomes my third most favorite book in line after ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’ and ‘The God of Small Things’.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Nowadays I am behaving like the English nobleman, John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich (1718-1792). No I am not immoral like him but I have been eating a lot of sandwiches just like him and also feeding my entire family these sandwiches.

While trying to search for a word that best describes a person who lives on sandwiches, I came to know that the word ‘sandwich’ that we use today was born in London during the very late hours one night in 1762. It was at that time that Montagu was too busy gambling to stop for a meal even though he was hungry.

The Earl was an enthusiastic gambler and when he didn't wish to leave the gaming table to go to dinner, he would ask for someone to bring him some meat between a couple of slices of bread. Later, when others began asking for the same thing, they would say something like, “I'll have what Sandwich is having...” It seems this fever caught on and people just started calling for ‘a Sandwich’ when they wanted meat between two slices of bread!!!

Well, I knew a bit about this story but today I got to know the insides of it. So back to my eating sandwiches! As I mentioned earlier, I am eating a lot of sandwiches nowadays. It’s because I am observing Lenten season and forgoing my lunch and also on a vegetarian diet. So I prepare a lot of toast sandwiches in the morning for breakfast and feed all of us. Every day I experiment with different fillings – beetroot, potatoes, cucumber, green chutney, butter – today it was cheese. And these sandwiches turn out just sexy. I never knew I could make such amazing sandwiches.

I am just loving these sandwiches!!!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Joy in suffering

Today is Ash Wednesday, a day of great penance. Beginning today, the next 40 days till Easter Sunday are going to be very crucial for all Catholics, especially me. Till last year, I abstained myself only from non-vegetarian food. But this year, I have decided to desist from a lot of things – both my favorites as well as things which make me a sinner.

Along with a vegetarian diet, I have decided to forgo one-time meal till Easter. I will skip my daily lunch and along with it, my elixir, my afternoon coffee, which has become such an integral part of my life. I want to give this up as a mark of repentance from all my sins so that I may become the kind of person I want to be.

I will not listen to retro music on 104.8 FM, another thing which I love to do the most. I will not shop for myself – be it books or clothes or anything - and I will not socialize on Facebook and Twitter. I itch for regular status updates and photographs and also keep changing my profile picture all the time. In the next 40 days, I will make sure not that I neither comment on anyone’s status nor renew my own status. I will refrain myself from uploading albums and also not change my profile picture. This I will do to repent for all the sins that I have committed lately.

I am sure that if I give up all my favorites till Easter, Jesus Christ will surely listen to me and forgive all my sins and make me a changed person. While coming to office, I have been reading outside a church since yesterday that “fast and you will receive from God what you ask”. So I want to fast from my sinful habits, anger, and abusive language and screaming at my kids. I want to be a renewed person at the end of these 40-days.

It is always said during our Bible class that there’s no greater joy than suffering and Jesus experienced the greatest joy by suffering on the Cross for all of us. So like Jesus I too want to suffer by giving up everything I like to do and experience the greatest joy of my life – the desire to be a changed person.

The two things that I will continue to do are blogging and reading. I will write down all my thoughts because besides Jesus Himself, I don’t want to share these thoughts with anyone. I want to keep all my ‘sacrifices’ secret because it is also written in the Bible that your right hand should not know what your left hand is doing. So I don’t want to make a big noise about all these and just want to behave as if everything is normal. I just want to be transformed and don’t want anyone to stop me from doing what I have decided. If this will help me to forget my “sins”, I am too very happy of what I have decided.

When I say that I will read, I mean that I will be switching over from Classics to religious/spiritual books so that I will not be getting excited by the ‘lines’ in them and decide to save them for my FB status updates. Like I normally do!!! So the next 40-days are really going to be adjudicating days of my life.

Oh Lord Jesus Christ, please strengthen me so that I may remain firm in all my decisions till Easter.

Monday, March 7, 2011

100th International Women’s Day

I firmly believe what I read in the family magazine ‘The Examiner’ – “behind every successful woman there is a woman…..” I have always believed this and last year I had written also that I consider myself a complete woman because of my daughters. This still holds true for me and it will always be the same. I don’t think I will ever change my opinion.

In fact in my case, there are two women who make me whole – my two daughters – Jemimah and Jewel. It is because of them that I consider myself a woman. I feel proud in always writing that I am a mother first and then a wife. Though I am not always sweet with my daughters, I cannot deny the fact that it’s because of them that I exist. Otherwise, I would have been a totally different person altogether.

Prodigious daughters

Our two daughters Jemimah and Jewel are indeed prodigious. They keep surprising us and making us proud in all walks of life – be it studies, sports, extra-curricular activities, and now even religion.

It seems there was a Bible Quiz Competition in September 2010 for which Jewel stood 2nd in her Sunday Class. Yesterday she got a certificate and a book for it. Jemimah got only a certificate but never mind she too has been making us proud by excelling in her studies all the time. That’s the reason she was honoured on her Sports Day in November 2010. She had the maximum number of certificates because of which she declared the Sports Meet open by running with the burning torch. And it’s just the tip of the iceberg.

But they are quite a talkative lot – both in a good and a bad way – it can be really annoying sometimes. Last night, Goldie i.e. Jewel was wasting stapler pins. So I told her that she shouldn’t waste anything as everything comes with a cost and nothing in this world is free. Promptly she said that one thing comes free and that it’s you (meaning me, her momma). To this Jemimah added that even dada has come free of cost. So I told her that if parents have come free of cost, then they should be valuing us a lot and also respect us all the time.

I was touched by Goldie’s observation. This is not the only time she has said such prodigious things. She is just 6-years-old but keeps saying things which make me think. Most of the times I am caught off-guard by her strong observation!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Twelve years - 4th March 1999 to 2011

“Darrrrrling ankhon se ankhen chaar paanch che saat aath nau dus gyarah ‘barah’ karne do…..” I like this song and took the liberty of tweaking it a bit to use it as per my convenience. I wanted to use this song to describe the number of years we complete on 4th March this year. It’s been twelve years since the day I went to my Golu’s office to interview MM Kreem and twelve years since the day he started liking me.

Another quote which I got while searching was from a 1965 Hollywood movie Shenandoah - “But when you’ve lived together for a dozen years, you’ll realize that comfort’s not what counts” – and how very true!!!

While reading the Bible, I came across this quote: “The Most High has made everything in pairs, each thing the opposite of something else.” Sirach 33:15
All these are more than sufficient to describe what I am feeling on this 4th March.

I and my Golu are poles apart yet there’s a strong chemistry in the two us that binds us together. We are totally opposite when it comes to clothes, music and other habits. But I am quite convinced that that’s the way it has to be now after reading this verse from the Bible. After all, isn’t it true that opposites attract.
One thing common in both is dedication, commitment and absolute ego-less feeling for each other. We have given each other absolute space in our relationship and we never encroach or breathe down each other’s neck. There’s a trust factor which binds us together and nowadays I am extra careful about it. So these are some of the ingredients that make our married life a happy and strong one. Praise the Lord!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Praise the Lord!!!

I always praise the Lord for all the good things He has given to me and also for all the blessings He has bestowed on me. I never fail to thank Him when I realize that He has given me more than I have ever asked for or expected.

Yesterday, while I was coming back from the TJF press conference, I had a friend with me. She was telling me about her various personal and professional problems and how she battles everything alone. I was praising the Lord in my mind for all the good things He has given me till now – my loving husband Golu, my wonderful daughters Jemimah and Jewel, a beautiful home, a swashbuckling red i10 – I was thanking the Lord for both the materialistic as well as immaterialist elements of my life.

Before writing this post, this song from an old Hindi movie (Amrit) came into my mind “duniya mein kitna gham hai, mera gham kitna kam hai….” My friend’s life has convinced me that I am indeed blessed by the Lord and my life is far much better than the lives others are leading. He has separated the sheep from the goats and blessed us abundantly.

"I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:4–5
Do I need to write more?


Dreamscaping is the word I learnt on the first day of the Trends Jewellery Forecasting (TJF) Seminar on 28th February, 2011. It means escaping into a dream or daydreaming.

Well, dreamscaping is a nice new word for a person like me who likes to daydream. I like to dreamscape about a lot of things – clothes, jewellery, books and possibly all the good things about me. Yes, I am a very materialistic woman – I like to be surrounded by beautiful aroma and fragrances of beautiful products.

But when I was reading the Bible today, I came across this verse about dreams – “you see in them only what you want to see” Sirach 34:5

Turquoise pendant

I attended the Trends Jewellery Forecasting (TJF) Seminar on 28th February and 1st March. It was very knowledgeable and I got to know about the colors and patterns for 2012. I am happy that 1920-inspired jewellery is back and aqua blue is the color to be looked out for. One of the stones to be in demand will be turquoise.

Now all these bring in only good news for me. Antique and vintage look is what I like in jewellery and turquoise is the stone, after a diamond, which makes my heart skip a beat. In fact, it has been a long cherished dream of mine to get for myself either a chunky turquoise pendant or a ring. I have been speaking to people about this and there are few designs ready with me. If my desired piece is not readily available in Tanishq (am sure it won’t be), I will get it specially manufactured for me. So a turquoise pendant or a ring will be the piece of jewellery that I am really looking forward to wear on my birthday this year.

Brands Galore!!!

I added one more pair of Levi’s jeans to my quite a commendable collection of jeans. I am an out and out jeans person and feel very comfortable in them. I have already been wearing Van Heusan and Pepe. But the point here is not about jeans but the brands I have been using of late. I have reached a different high in my life by adding brands into it. Earlier, I wasn’t that very brand conscious but I guess my Classic Literature is unconsciously turning me into a ‘classic’ person. I want the very best for me.

I use Olay as my skin product and Dove as my hair product. I read Classic Literature and now I have started wearing Levi’s jeans. I have also bought a mauve cotton trouser from United Colors of Benetton (UCB). I listen to Hindi retro songs on 104.8 FM and my most favourite RJ is Komal. When it comes to cosmetics, it’s mostly Maybelline for me but recently I bought two Avon products also. Tanishq is my most trusted jewellery brand and Samsung is the handset I use. I love coffee and it has become the elixir of my life.

We have a red i10 and I love Jesus Christ and I have the best husband and two most wonderful daughters on earth. So is there anything lacking???