My Daughters

My Daughters
my cute daughters

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Purple corduroy trousers

In all these sad confiding, I have been forgetting to share the beautiful parts of my life. On Monday, 25th April, I bought the most beautiful purple corduroy trousers from a shop in Mira Road. Though it’s unbranded, it’s a beautiful piece. Actually I had been eyeing this purple corduroy since a long time but since I wasn’t supposed to shop during Lenten, I went and enquired about it only on Monday. And it was still unsold. I am sure it was meant just for me. So now I am a proud owner of a purple corduroy trouser.

But I won’t wear it now. I am keeping it for my birthday. I know it’s too early but what the heck! I like to shop well in advance. Honestly, I am a total style freak and so very choosy about what I wear. I don’t allow even my husband to decide on my clothes and that annoys him the most. And I get annoyed when anyone tells me what to wear. I like to decide my clothes on my own because I know what looks good on me. I adhere to my style and not flow with fashion....!!! And that’s why I like to shop well in advance so that I can have ample of time to just browse or choose or reject…

I confess to be a loner. I like to go for shopping alone because for me it’s one of my favorite pastimes and I really like to enjoy my shopping sprees without any strings attached (especially when I am buying for myself). Almost half of my birthday shopping is already done when the actual birthday is in July. Is it too early? I guess not! Now I need to buy the perfect top wear for this new entrant in my wardrobe.

Aah, just the mention of shopping and my birthday has brought me back into my jovial mood and I am so glad about it. So a big mwaaaaah for that!!!

Monday, April 25, 2011

For my blog's eyes only!

Sexy old thing!

Hallelujah! Jesus has risen! And with him I. This 40-day penance has really worked wonders for me and I am glad Jesus has changed my heart and made it ever new. I can vouch for this. From yesterday I have started the normal course of life – I had two cups of mocha, listened to some wonderful retro music and visited FB. I changed my profile picture. But that’s it. I am not going to do anything more.

There is indeed a change of heart for me and so I have decided to cut down socializing on FB and chatting on Gtalk. That’s where the temptation lies for me. In fact, on gtalk barring just one person, I have blocked everyone else. There’s only one person on my chat list and that’s why it’s my highest point of temptation and though earlier I hated chatting unnecessarily, now no one knows better than me that chatting is just the beginning of all temptations. Some chat bluntly and some with artiness and it’s the people of the latter kind that are difficult to handle. They take you round and round through flattery and once you give in to this flattery, they throw you out of their lives just like a stale cabbage and avoid you like a plague. Temptation is just the beginning of all sins and is like an endless pit. You never know how far you are going to fall.

Despite knowing all this, my second point of temptation is sadly and obviously FB. But I took my chance yesterday late in the afternoon when I knew most people would be napping, with tears in their eyes, after having crab curry and crab soup on a Sunday afternoon. Burp! BTW, even I can cook excellent crab curry but the problem is that except the daughters, no one else likes crab at home. And I, a Cancerian, a crab, well, how can I eat my own self? (Sorry for the PJ)

So I have decided to continue being offline on gtalk and FB. As far as posts are concerned, I have synchronized my Twitter, MySpace and FB accounts. If I post something on Twitter, it will also be posted on MySpace and FB. I will give this a trial soon after posting this piece. And anyways, I am absolutely disgusted with the kind of comments I have been receiving on FB for all my posts. Just because there are provisions for ‘liking’ and ‘commenting’, one cannot go on commenting on my posts without understanding the length, breadth and depth of whatever I write. I can only fume and not do anything else about it because I don’t want to take ‘panga’ with anyone online.

That’s why I have decided to post only ‘stupid’ things on FB! Let them keep commenting. And these comments are mostly from the same people who used to snub me during my school days. These are the same arrogant seniors and classmates, studious good looking rascals, prefects, head boys and even monitors, who would run behind prettier girls in my class and school and would not bother to give me a second look. I am amazed at the kind of messages they leave for me in my inbox. I really don’t know how to react – should I be flattered or should I be angry – but most of the times I laugh. Like I did this morning. I was surprised to see the messages which just a change of profile picture generated. But everyone cannot be a tornado or a hurricane to sweep you off your feet. But like I said before, these messages are from the same arrogant lot who chased the ‘pretty young things’ twenty years back!

Now, after twenty years or so, I laugh at them and their choice of girls – these same ‘pretty young things’ of those days have become ‘plump old things’ of today and look utterly horrible and out of shape. My own supposed best friend from school looks ten years older than her actual age and the amount of weight she has put on makes me feel pity for her. And this same pretty young thing, with lofty dreams of becoming a business woman, has been reduced to a mere housewife. Last time when I spoke to her, she was busy washing towels and bed sheets. It’s not that I do not wash towels and bed sheets; even I do all these but of course with a difference. And this same pretty young thing would laugh at me when I told her about my dream of becoming a journalist. She would say interview me when I become a business woman! Hahaha…I really feel like interviewing her now!

Oops, I guess I am going a bit off track. So like I was saying, I won’t be posting any serious stuff on FB. Whatever I want to share, I will be doing it here because I know nobody bothers to read my blog and not many people know about it and I have only one follower. She is harmless and non-meddling and with a sweet temperament. I don’t mind her reading my thoughts. But in no way will I share these with anyone else as I dread the kind of comments my thoughts are likely to generate at my blog. Now I will make sure that I don’t share blog postings on FB. Twitter will be the best place to be in because no one will come to know even if I am online. MySpace has only three friends.

Speaking of FB postings, I am amazed to see some of the recent postings on my wall. Some like whether I like clubbing or not, whether I am funny or not and the most hilarious one is this – what will I look like twenty years hence? What the heck! Why should I be bothered to know what I will look in my mid-50s? I am sure I will be a sexy old thing just like the evergreen Rekha!

PS: I have started reading “Wind Flowers” the Malayalam short stories and also reading the e version of “The Woman in White”. Good reads – both!

PS: This pic is for my blog’s eyes only……not for FB!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Ten years back…

Ten years back, on this day i.e. 15th April, 2001, I got converted to Christianity. From a Bengali Brahmin I had become a Roman Catholic.

Honestly, I wasn’t all that happy that day as I would have been today. Today I jump with joy at the slightest opportunity of serving the Lord and being close to Him. But at that time I didn’t have the same feelings. May be the circumstances…we were just thrown out of Jason’s house and we had no place of our own. We were staying at a friend’s place for few days and we had gone for this big occasion not-so-happy. There was no joy in our hearts but there was Jemimah (the messenger of peace) in my womb.

Or may be faith…! The kind of love and feelings I have today for Jesus Christ has taken a long time to come. Though I had no compunctions to go to church to attend mass, I wasn’t all that faithful to Jesus. The right kind of feelings was missing. It has taken 9 and half years to get that feeling of faith. I would pray, I would attend rosaries, I would attend mass, I went on a vegetarian diet every Lent, and I even enrolled myself in Bible study classes and became an animator in my SCC; but that feeling, that faith, that oneness with Jesus was just missing. I lacked the right faith.

That right faith came to me around seven months back in September 2010 when I actually started ‘speaking’ with Jesus. One day in ‘deep pain’ I looked towards the statue of Jesus in our bedroom and cried out, “Lord help me, I cannot take this pain anymore”. I swear that was the moment for me. I was born again. That was my calling. Jesus heard me and lifted me and embraced me in his outstretched hands. He washed all my ‘wounds’ by his blood and since then has kept me hidden (safe and sound) in his own wounds. I feel protected and loved in His embrace. He uplifted me and kept me going during my trying times.

I’ll be forever grateful to Him for what He has done for me and as a token of my love and appreciation, this Lent I decided to forego a lot things I love doing – shopping, coffee, FB, lunch, etc. – all because He loves me and has proved over and over again just how much.

I am glad NOW that Jesus came into my life ten years back…..I wasn’t glad THEN………..

Monday, April 11, 2011

“Winners don’t do different things, they do things differently” – Shiv Khera

On Friday 8th April, 2011, I attended an edifying four hour seminar by Shiv Khera. He shared amazing stories of Mohammad Ali (MA), Michael Phelps, Donald Trumps, Steve Jobs and many more people. Here are the excerpts from the seminar which touched me the most.

Positive thinking doesn’t guarantee success; it increases the probability of success…

“I am the greatest….I am the champion” – MA

MA on mistakes: “Some I did, some happened”

Pleasantness without performance becomes painful…

Change is not a challenge but the speed of change is a challenge…

Learn the trade – leave the tricks to the cheats and the crooks…

About culture: Culture always goes top down never bottom up...

“I will never ask you to do something which I will not do myself” – Walt Disney

Bill Marriot: “I will wait, a customer will not”

There’s a huge difference between earning and inheriting wealth…

McDonalds cancelled a franchise because of a fly flying there…

“Any behavior which is consciously continued for 21 days, becomes a habit on the 22nd day”

Most of the times we are our own problems…

Sometimes in life you got to be unkind to be kind...

When a parent hits a child, it hurts a parent more than the child…

In life, only parents and teachers care to correct, others punish…

Moral commitments are lot stronger than legal commitments…

“I must feel successful inside”

Good family can be a success. Success means different to different people….

55% of our communication is non-verbal…

On fragile ego – taking things personally….

It’s a continuous process otherwise we slip back…

Each person carries brand equity…

Old values are not obsolete

He ended the seminar with this golden quote – “values are priceless. The moment we put a price to it, it becomes valueless”.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

‘Me’ time….

My day starts at 5 o’clock in the morning. That’s when the alarm rings for the first time. I don’t get up but go on snooze along with my mobile’s alarm clock. By 5:20 I scramble out of the bed and start waking up everyone else. Nowadays as both Jemimah and Jewel leave home by 6:25, hubby dear gets up with me to dress them up. I am in the kitchen preparing their breakfast and packing their tiffin boxes. By 6:25, the van comes and one major hurdle is crossed.

After that I start preparing lunch, give breakfast to husband and pack the babysitting bag. I water the plants and then I start dressing up for office. I have to be out by 8:15 – 8:30 to catch my 8:58 local. Otherwise, I am late. I reach office anywhere between 10 – 10:30 and ready to leave after 4 and a half hours work. So there’s no breathing space for me from the time I get up in the morning till the time I leave office. It’s a mad rush everywhere.

But my ‘me’ time starts from the time I step out of the office and get down at Mira Road station. I always look forward to this time. It’s very precious for me and I make the most of this few spare hours in my life. After boarding a bus from Colaba till I reach Churchgate station, I like to drink into the sites I pass. In the bus, I sit near the window and keep staring at the pavement stalls all the while – at the clothes, handbags, shoes, jewellery – it’s such a wonderful feeling!

After reaching Churchgate station, I prefer a Bhayander local as it isn’t much crowded and I get a window seat. After settling myself in my favourite window seat, I devour my Classic Literature. I transport myself into a blissful world of Classics for the next 59 minutes. But my ‘me’ time is short-lived and ends the moment I get down at Mira Road station. Then again it’s a mad rush – buy vegetables and fruits, get the children from the crèche, cook, wash clothes, and teach – so I am back into the roller-coaster.

Like I said, these couple of hours is very precious to me. I get irritated if these hours go berserk and things don’t happen in my favour. So I have to be very careful of what I am reading in the train. I have to utilize my ‘me’ time well and so I cannot read anything stupid. I choose my books well for the train and as I believe that Classic Literature is growing on me, I have started pulling out my old Classics from the shelf. There are so many unread books that I am really amazed at my collection. I have just stocked them for God knows what. Now when I read these books, I can see the book marks left on the second/third pages. I remember getting bored of these slow books and switching on to something fast. How callous of me. I agree Classics are slow but like I mentioned earlier, it grows on you. And it is growing well on me now. I will be fine if I don’t buy books for the next 3-4 months as I have enough stock in the library. It’s high time I did justice to them.

Coming back to my ‘me’ time, every day I look forward to my train ride back home…’s my daily dose of elixir……….!!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

My Life…

Since yesterday I am reading ‘An Anonymous Story’ by Anton Chekhov. I got the idea of picking up words from this story that describe my life the most. So here are some words which I feel is synonymous to my life.

Coffee – Music – Books – Reading - Greek philosopher - Believing in God – Holidays – Children – Family – Walking – Love – Spectacles – White – Home – Wife - Ten o'clock – Smile – Sea – winter – Literature – Laughter – Shopping - Passionately in love - Passionately loved – Sleep – Domestic - Home-loving – Bedroom – Dreaming – Husband - Romantic attitude – Enjoyment – Beautiful - In love and happy – Charming – Adorable - Snow and frost – Money – Gold - Bad temper – Purse – Tears – Skirt – Thoughts – Temperamental – Writing – Words - Lovely hair – Kiss – Rings – Chestnut – Sentimental – Affectionate – Joyousness – Cleaning – Sweeping – Cooking – Garden – Hope – Heart – Clothes – Purchases – Fashion – Marriage – Christmas – Memory – Quarreling – Passion – Friday – Eating – Instinct – Shoes – Obstinate