But honestly I wasn’t at all happy! Somehow Christianity was forced upon me by the in-laws! I was kind of forced to attend the RCIA classes every Sunday evening at 5 PM. That was in 2002. Though I was quite regular initially I didn't understand anything. Then in December I got pregnant and stopped attending as I used to feel nauseated! Still they baptized me on Easter 2001.
Even after my conversion, I couldn't love Jesus wholeheartedly! The kind of love and feelings I have today for Jesus Christ has taken a long time to come. Though I had no compunctions to go to church to attend Mass, I wasn’t all that faithful to Jesus. The right kind of feelings were missing. It took me nine and half years to get the right feelings of faith. I would pray, I would attend rosaries, I would attend Mass, I went on a vegetarian diet every Lent, and I even enrolled myself in Bible study classes and became an animator in my SCC; but that feeling, that faith, that oneness with Jesus was just missing. I lacked the right faith till 2010.
That right faith came to me around September 2010 when I actually started ‘speaking’ with Jesus. One day after coming back from office, in ‘deep pain’ I looked towards the crucifix of Jesus in our master bedroom and cried out, “Lord help me, I cannot take this pain anymore”. I swear that was THE moment for me. I was born again. That was my calling. Jesus heard me and lifted me and embraced me in His outstretched arms. He washed all my ‘wounds’ by His precious blood and since then has kept me hidden (safe and sound) in His own wounds. I feel protected and loved in His embrace. That evening He uplifted me and has kept me going during my trying times.
I’ll be forever grateful to Him for what He has done for me since that evening when I cried out to him. Since then I have only loved him more and more and more!😍
I am glad NOW that Jesus came into my life nineteen years back…..
I wasn’t glad THEN………..
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