Glossophobia or speech anxiety had badly hurt my professional life. I could neither speak in a meeting nor give a presentation. I would feel nervous, my palms would sweat, my stomach tied itself into knots…I just didn't want to do it. And when I did, I would be ridiculed.
In the personal front, too, the scenario was just the same. I had to do a Church Reading on Pentecost Sunday (May 23, 2010). It was my first time.
After the practice, it was finally time for me to go up on the altar and do my Reading. My heart was pounding because for the first time in my life I would be on the altar in front of so many people in the church. I was to do the Second Reading. In my nervousness, I didn’t adjust the mike and it was far away from my mouth. Later on I was told that I was inaudible. I felt so bad. It was my first time in the church and I had goofed up there too. It wasn’t a nice feeling. But the feeling that it was a Pentecost Sunday and that I was reading for my Jesus Christ, kept me going. Whatever it was, Jesus had given me the opportunity to read and I was sure that though others couldn’t hear, Jesus must have heard me distinctly. That kept me going.
I was happy that at last I had got this golden opportunity of my life to Read. I promised myself that if given another chance, I will make sure that everything goes smoothly…if only…
And yes, I was given many more opportunities to read after that miserable incident. Since then I have learnt to quieten my mind through prayer and meditation and these have helped me read and speak better in public.
The reason I am writing this is that yesterday I spoke at a get-together – unprepared!!!
I was the emcee for our Konkani-English OCDS get-together…
For the first time I didn’t have to control my nervousness because there was none at all… :)
Thank you Jesus for giving me opportunity after opportunity to speak in front of an audience and helping me get rid of the fear of speaking in public… I have finally conquered my fear of public speaking…
