Dark Nights of my Soul

Dear DLL Jesus,

Today l want to write to you about my return from Mangalore one month back. So it's been one month since I returned from Mangalore after doing my doctrine on St. John of the Cross. It's been one month of silence and no response - just like the bad old days. It's been one month since I am again treated as if I am the most horrible thing in the whole wide world. It's been one month that I have been trying to attain forgetfulness. And it's been one month that I am unsuccessful in doing so.

So, tell me Lord what to do? What should I do to attain forgetfulness? Why is it so difficult for me to forget all these matters of the heart? I know that these are those ongoing passive dark nights of my soul.😥 The dark nights of my senses!😥 I will not ask you, Lord, why is it happening to me because I know that it is time for the purification of my soul. You are purifying my soul to get united with you. But when exactly will it be uniting fully? When will the fire of your love consume me fully? 

I hope you are not tired of reading the same things again and again. But what to do Lord? This is what I am going through every day and if I don't confess and share it with you I will be doomed, Lord. I exist because I write to you - without you I am nothing!😥