I am bit nostalgic today and feel like remembering all first things (and possibly the good things) of my life though I will not be able to name them sometimes for security reasons.
My first friend from school days: Shweta Dey (don’t know the whereabouts)
My first favorite teacher: Mrs. Sharma (class teacher, I B – used to tell my mom that I was the most talkative)
My first crush (school days): NB (only the initials)
My first crush (college days): RS (only the initials)
My first diamond: A pair of Tanishq earrings (June 2008)
My first salary amount: Rs 500/- (March 1996)
My first pair of jeans: Cambridge (yuck!!!)
My first purchase: Light grey half jacket bought for Rs 50/- from Andheri west (near the station)
My first discotheque experience: 12th July, 1998….a day after my 22nd birthday (Sunday afternoon at Madness)
My first admirer: MJ (only the initials) hey a sweet realization! He was MJ and I was JM at that time! My friend’s elder brother! This is the art of being happy….
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
A damsel in distress….
Though I am not a ‘damsel’ as such, I want to read this Classic piece by P G Wodehouse. In fact, Wodehouse himself cannot be considered a Classics writer – he was alive until 1975. Nevertheless, I feel like reading this book as the title suits me fine. I start reading the e-book today.
I have been gambling with various books since the time I finished reading THE WOMAN IN WHITE. I guess I tried reading at least three different books since then but nothing keeps me engrossed. I get bored. I hope this DAMSEL IN DISTRESS will be able to keep me interested in her.
Since morning I am in an unusually cheerful disposition. I prayed well and then started listening to Archana Jani’s show on Oye 104.8 FM. Music really does wonders for me. It soothes all my aches and pains. Then I read that “All great achievements require time” while coming to office.
When I called up my Golu to inform him that I have reached office, he said that he can see my FB profile picture while receiving my call on his Blackberry. I laughed aloud when he asked to change my picture as he wants to see my full face every time I call him. He said something happened to him when I laughed aloud and he urged me to laugh in a similar fashion more often. I was touched by this statement. So I am going to keep a nice profile picture now.
PS: I went online (big screen) FB after so long. I changed my profile picture but was astonished to find someone showing as ‘people you may know’ though we have no common friends.
I have been gambling with various books since the time I finished reading THE WOMAN IN WHITE. I guess I tried reading at least three different books since then but nothing keeps me engrossed. I get bored. I hope this DAMSEL IN DISTRESS will be able to keep me interested in her.
Since morning I am in an unusually cheerful disposition. I prayed well and then started listening to Archana Jani’s show on Oye 104.8 FM. Music really does wonders for me. It soothes all my aches and pains. Then I read that “All great achievements require time” while coming to office.
When I called up my Golu to inform him that I have reached office, he said that he can see my FB profile picture while receiving my call on his Blackberry. I laughed aloud when he asked to change my picture as he wants to see my full face every time I call him. He said something happened to him when I laughed aloud and he urged me to laugh in a similar fashion more often. I was touched by this statement. So I am going to keep a nice profile picture now.
PS: I went online (big screen) FB after so long. I changed my profile picture but was astonished to find someone showing as ‘people you may know’ though we have no common friends.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Friday appraisals, Saturday Esselworld,
…Sunday Navi Mumbai…and Monday, winner of ‘Filmi Raftaar’ on Oye 104.8 FM……I am feeling on top of the world………nice and better………each passing day…………………
Monday, May 23, 2011
Down to 236 friends…..
But then also I know it’s too much…! I just don’t know whom to ‘unfriend’. Most of them are my school friends, Bong and Catholic relatives, some good ex-colleagues, some personal friends and acquaintances, some big shots from the jewellery industry, PR professionals and some contacts which I have made over the period of time. I guess I will ‘unfriend’ some boring colleagues and then some people from the ‘apex body’. They should be on my second hit list. Ironically, there are none from my college. Sadly, I don’t remember anyone from my college days (was I too busy juggling between my studies and part-time job)? Looks like it.
Friday, May 20, 2011
I have started it…..
I have started ‘unfriending’ some of the most unwanted and loathsome friends on FACEBOOK. Some, so-called friends, who don’t make any difference in my life!
I believe that there are too many unnecessary friends on FB right now. I don’t need so many to pamper my ego. I want to be choosy as I can be as well happy without them. I will keep ‘unfriending’ them slowly and steadily. I cannot apply ‘zor ka jhatka’…it will become too obvious…..dheere dheere….pyar se….!!!
I feel that my latest FB profile pic is the apt one…I am indeed lonely in the shore of life…some waves have touched my heart and receded…some want to touch me but I won’t allow…my profile pic (showing my back to the world) portrays that I care a damn for this world. I am the world……and I only need few adored, petted and cherished people in this world of mine…………
I believe that there are too many unnecessary friends on FB right now. I don’t need so many to pamper my ego. I want to be choosy as I can be as well happy without them. I will keep ‘unfriending’ them slowly and steadily. I cannot apply ‘zor ka jhatka’…it will become too obvious…..dheere dheere….pyar se….!!!
I feel that my latest FB profile pic is the apt one…I am indeed lonely in the shore of life…some waves have touched my heart and receded…some want to touch me but I won’t allow…my profile pic (showing my back to the world) portrays that I care a damn for this world. I am the world……and I only need few adored, petted and cherished people in this world of mine…………
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Calm and composed
By degrees I am returning to my accustomed way of life. I am no longer mournfully absorbed over the ruins of my broken ‘cup’. Actually, faces sometimes tell truth and what I saw and beheld exactly a week ago, have helped me burst into a new life and a new set of thoughts. I am no longer in a restless frame of mind.
The ‘woman in white’ in me is gone.......gone forever! I no longer feel tired and out of spirits. I no longer dread thinking “What shall I see in my dreams tonight?” Last fortnight has done much good to me – I sleep peacefully and rouse refreshed. I am glad that the pang has passed, and though nothing but the dull numbing pain of it has still remained, I am sure I’ll be able to get over this soon.
I am quite sure now that I had highly-overrated this entire episode of my life and living in pain for no apparent reason. This absolutely unnecessary pain had started reflecting on my face – now my face as well as me – are perfectly calm and composed. My face doesn’t show any traits of fatigue. My head no longer whirls and I am not jaded in body and mind. My mind isn’t flighty and my eyes aren’t inattentive anymore…like earlier!
I am my own self now – the peaceful, fast-flowing, happy times, are back…for me! My music and books have been my refuge – from MYSELF.....I sincerely pray that those days may never return. My way of life is very different from the rest of the world. I don’t want anxiety to unsettle my world.
I don’t want my tomorrows to be cruel to me and for this; I want to say good-bye to the bad world forever. I want to be happy in my own world and I guess a change of scene or may be a change of occupation may really be the salvation for me at this so-called crisis in my life. I want to always keep on doing something so that I don’t have to think – that is all I ask now. On weekends, I will occupy myself wholeheartedly to the cleaning and dusting of the house - bedroom, toilet, and kitchen – I’ll make them as clean as new.
From last night I again started bedtime reading with my daughters. I don’t remember when exactly I had stopped bedtime reading with them – they were feeling so happy when I was reading aloud to them – honestly, even I was feeling so nice!
Patience and more patience is all I want. But as per a beautiful line in THE WOMAN IN WHITE, “where is the faultless human creature that can persevere in a good resolution, without sometimes failing and falling back?” The weakling that I am, I will no longer act on impulses which even I cannot explain to myself. There will surely be a change in me. I have to maintain my degrading self-control as I cannot walk upon egg-shells anymore! Never again will I allow anybody to wound me in my sentiments any more. I will have to remember my resolution to control myself.
I hope Satan won’t throw too many obstacles in my way! I feel like going on a self-imposed exile again and when I come back this time, I hope, pray, believe that I should come back a changed woman. I don’t mind running some risk of being forgotten altogether.....
The ‘woman in white’ in me is gone.......gone forever! I no longer feel tired and out of spirits. I no longer dread thinking “What shall I see in my dreams tonight?” Last fortnight has done much good to me – I sleep peacefully and rouse refreshed. I am glad that the pang has passed, and though nothing but the dull numbing pain of it has still remained, I am sure I’ll be able to get over this soon.
I am quite sure now that I had highly-overrated this entire episode of my life and living in pain for no apparent reason. This absolutely unnecessary pain had started reflecting on my face – now my face as well as me – are perfectly calm and composed. My face doesn’t show any traits of fatigue. My head no longer whirls and I am not jaded in body and mind. My mind isn’t flighty and my eyes aren’t inattentive anymore…like earlier!
I am my own self now – the peaceful, fast-flowing, happy times, are back…for me! My music and books have been my refuge – from MYSELF.....I sincerely pray that those days may never return. My way of life is very different from the rest of the world. I don’t want anxiety to unsettle my world.
I don’t want my tomorrows to be cruel to me and for this; I want to say good-bye to the bad world forever. I want to be happy in my own world and I guess a change of scene or may be a change of occupation may really be the salvation for me at this so-called crisis in my life. I want to always keep on doing something so that I don’t have to think – that is all I ask now. On weekends, I will occupy myself wholeheartedly to the cleaning and dusting of the house - bedroom, toilet, and kitchen – I’ll make them as clean as new.
From last night I again started bedtime reading with my daughters. I don’t remember when exactly I had stopped bedtime reading with them – they were feeling so happy when I was reading aloud to them – honestly, even I was feeling so nice!
Patience and more patience is all I want. But as per a beautiful line in THE WOMAN IN WHITE, “where is the faultless human creature that can persevere in a good resolution, without sometimes failing and falling back?” The weakling that I am, I will no longer act on impulses which even I cannot explain to myself. There will surely be a change in me. I have to maintain my degrading self-control as I cannot walk upon egg-shells anymore! Never again will I allow anybody to wound me in my sentiments any more. I will have to remember my resolution to control myself.
I hope Satan won’t throw too many obstacles in my way! I feel like going on a self-imposed exile again and when I come back this time, I hope, pray, believe that I should come back a changed woman. I don’t mind running some risk of being forgotten altogether.....
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The Woman in White
What a great loss! Just now I read the last word of this e book written by Wilkie Collins. I had started reading THE WOMAN IN WHITE on 7th April. The beautiful story of Laura Fairlie and her drawing teacher, Walter Hartright, had kept me engrossed in my office for so many days. Oh, what will I do from tomorrow? It is so difficult to search for the right kind of book. I am thinking of giving, MOTHER, by Maxim Gorky, a try. I hope I will like it. If not, I will try reading CRICKET ON THE HEARTH by Charles Dickens.
Last night, I started reading THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL. This is the second time I am reading this book and I had thoroughly enjoyed reading it for the first time. I hope it will keep me beguiled this time as well.
To read in the train, I have my (THE) COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO (this too I am reading for the second time). Actually, the thing is, presently I am playing safe with books. I don’t want to gamble on books I am unsure of as right now my mental faculty cannot take in anything new. I am feeling comfy in all things old and let this be for some time. Though there are a lot of new unread books in my little library, I just don’t want my mind to loiter unnecessarily anywhere. I am feeling a bit apprehensive to leave my comfort zone.
Last night, I started reading THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL. This is the second time I am reading this book and I had thoroughly enjoyed reading it for the first time. I hope it will keep me beguiled this time as well.
To read in the train, I have my (THE) COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO (this too I am reading for the second time). Actually, the thing is, presently I am playing safe with books. I don’t want to gamble on books I am unsure of as right now my mental faculty cannot take in anything new. I am feeling comfy in all things old and let this be for some time. Though there are a lot of new unread books in my little library, I just don’t want my mind to loiter unnecessarily anywhere. I am feeling a bit apprehensive to leave my comfort zone.
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