Ten years back, on this day i.e. 15th April, 2001, I got converted to Christianity. From a Bengali Brahmin I had become a Roman Catholic.
Honestly, I wasn’t all that happy that day as I would have been today. Today I jump with joy at the slightest opportunity of serving the Lord and being close to Him. But at that time I didn’t have the same feelings. May be the circumstances…we were just thrown out of Jason’s house and we had no place of our own. We were staying at a friend’s place for few days and we had gone for this big occasion not-so-happy. There was no joy in our hearts but there was Jemimah (the messenger of peace) in my womb.
Or may be faith…! The kind of love and feelings I have today for Jesus Christ has taken a long time to come. Though I had no compunctions to go to church to attend mass, I wasn’t all that faithful to Jesus. The right kind of feelings was missing. It has taken 9 and half years to get that feeling of faith. I would pray, I would attend rosaries, I would attend mass, I went on a vegetarian diet every Lent, and I even enrolled myself in Bible study classes and became an animator in my SCC; but that feeling, that faith, that oneness with Jesus was just missing. I lacked the right faith.
That right faith came to me around seven months back in September 2010 when I actually started ‘speaking’ with Jesus. One day in ‘deep pain’ I looked towards the statue of Jesus in our bedroom and cried out, “Lord help me, I cannot take this pain anymore”. I swear that was the moment for me. I was born again. That was my calling. Jesus heard me and lifted me and embraced me in his outstretched hands. He washed all my ‘wounds’ by his blood and since then has kept me hidden (safe and sound) in his own wounds. I feel protected and loved in His embrace. He uplifted me and kept me going during my trying times.
I’ll be forever grateful to Him for what He has done for me and as a token of my love and appreciation, this Lent I decided to forego a lot things I love doing – shopping, coffee, FB, lunch, etc. – all because He loves me and has proved over and over again just how much.
I am glad NOW that Jesus came into my life ten years back…..I wasn’t glad THEN………..
Friday, April 15, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
“Winners don’t do different things, they do things differently” – Shiv Khera
On Friday 8th April, 2011, I attended an edifying four hour seminar by Shiv Khera. He shared amazing stories of Mohammad Ali (MA), Michael Phelps, Donald Trumps, Steve Jobs and many more people. Here are the excerpts from the seminar which touched me the most.
Positive thinking doesn’t guarantee success; it increases the probability of success…
“I am the greatest….I am the champion” – MA
MA on mistakes: “Some I did, some happened”
Pleasantness without performance becomes painful…
Change is not a challenge but the speed of change is a challenge…
Learn the trade – leave the tricks to the cheats and the crooks…
About culture: Culture always goes top down never bottom up...
“I will never ask you to do something which I will not do myself” – Walt Disney
Bill Marriot: “I will wait, a customer will not”
There’s a huge difference between earning and inheriting wealth…
McDonalds cancelled a franchise because of a fly flying there…
“Any behavior which is consciously continued for 21 days, becomes a habit on the 22nd day”
Most of the times we are our own problems…
Sometimes in life you got to be unkind to be kind...
When a parent hits a child, it hurts a parent more than the child…
In life, only parents and teachers care to correct, others punish…
Moral commitments are lot stronger than legal commitments…
“I must feel successful inside”
Good family can be a success. Success means different to different people….
55% of our communication is non-verbal…
On fragile ego – taking things personally….
It’s a continuous process otherwise we slip back…
Each person carries brand equity…
Old values are not obsolete
He ended the seminar with this golden quote – “values are priceless. The moment we put a price to it, it becomes valueless”.
Positive thinking doesn’t guarantee success; it increases the probability of success…
“I am the greatest….I am the champion” – MA
MA on mistakes: “Some I did, some happened”
Pleasantness without performance becomes painful…
Change is not a challenge but the speed of change is a challenge…
Learn the trade – leave the tricks to the cheats and the crooks…
About culture: Culture always goes top down never bottom up...
“I will never ask you to do something which I will not do myself” – Walt Disney
Bill Marriot: “I will wait, a customer will not”
There’s a huge difference between earning and inheriting wealth…
McDonalds cancelled a franchise because of a fly flying there…
“Any behavior which is consciously continued for 21 days, becomes a habit on the 22nd day”
Most of the times we are our own problems…
Sometimes in life you got to be unkind to be kind...
When a parent hits a child, it hurts a parent more than the child…
In life, only parents and teachers care to correct, others punish…
Moral commitments are lot stronger than legal commitments…
“I must feel successful inside”
Good family can be a success. Success means different to different people….
55% of our communication is non-verbal…
On fragile ego – taking things personally….
It’s a continuous process otherwise we slip back…
Each person carries brand equity…
Old values are not obsolete
He ended the seminar with this golden quote – “values are priceless. The moment we put a price to it, it becomes valueless”.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
‘Me’ time….
My day starts at 5 o’clock in the morning. That’s when the alarm rings for the first time. I don’t get up but go on snooze along with my mobile’s alarm clock. By 5:20 I scramble out of the bed and start waking up everyone else. Nowadays as both Jemimah and Jewel leave home by 6:25, hubby dear gets up with me to dress them up. I am in the kitchen preparing their breakfast and packing their tiffin boxes. By 6:25, the van comes and one major hurdle is crossed.
After that I start preparing lunch, give breakfast to husband and pack the babysitting bag. I water the plants and then I start dressing up for office. I have to be out by 8:15 – 8:30 to catch my 8:58 local. Otherwise, I am late. I reach office anywhere between 10 – 10:30 and ready to leave after 4 and a half hours work. So there’s no breathing space for me from the time I get up in the morning till the time I leave office. It’s a mad rush everywhere.
But my ‘me’ time starts from the time I step out of the office and get down at Mira Road station. I always look forward to this time. It’s very precious for me and I make the most of this few spare hours in my life. After boarding a bus from Colaba till I reach Churchgate station, I like to drink into the sites I pass. In the bus, I sit near the window and keep staring at the pavement stalls all the while – at the clothes, handbags, shoes, jewellery – it’s such a wonderful feeling!
After reaching Churchgate station, I prefer a Bhayander local as it isn’t much crowded and I get a window seat. After settling myself in my favourite window seat, I devour my Classic Literature. I transport myself into a blissful world of Classics for the next 59 minutes. But my ‘me’ time is short-lived and ends the moment I get down at Mira Road station. Then again it’s a mad rush – buy vegetables and fruits, get the children from the crèche, cook, wash clothes, and teach – so I am back into the roller-coaster.
Like I said, these couple of hours is very precious to me. I get irritated if these hours go berserk and things don’t happen in my favour. So I have to be very careful of what I am reading in the train. I have to utilize my ‘me’ time well and so I cannot read anything stupid. I choose my books well for the train and as I believe that Classic Literature is growing on me, I have started pulling out my old Classics from the shelf. There are so many unread books that I am really amazed at my collection. I have just stocked them for God knows what. Now when I read these books, I can see the book marks left on the second/third pages. I remember getting bored of these slow books and switching on to something fast. How callous of me. I agree Classics are slow but like I mentioned earlier, it grows on you. And it is growing well on me now. I will be fine if I don’t buy books for the next 3-4 months as I have enough stock in the library. It’s high time I did justice to them.
Coming back to my ‘me’ time, every day I look forward to my train ride back home…..it’s my daily dose of elixir……….!!!
After that I start preparing lunch, give breakfast to husband and pack the babysitting bag. I water the plants and then I start dressing up for office. I have to be out by 8:15 – 8:30 to catch my 8:58 local. Otherwise, I am late. I reach office anywhere between 10 – 10:30 and ready to leave after 4 and a half hours work. So there’s no breathing space for me from the time I get up in the morning till the time I leave office. It’s a mad rush everywhere.
But my ‘me’ time starts from the time I step out of the office and get down at Mira Road station. I always look forward to this time. It’s very precious for me and I make the most of this few spare hours in my life. After boarding a bus from Colaba till I reach Churchgate station, I like to drink into the sites I pass. In the bus, I sit near the window and keep staring at the pavement stalls all the while – at the clothes, handbags, shoes, jewellery – it’s such a wonderful feeling!
After reaching Churchgate station, I prefer a Bhayander local as it isn’t much crowded and I get a window seat. After settling myself in my favourite window seat, I devour my Classic Literature. I transport myself into a blissful world of Classics for the next 59 minutes. But my ‘me’ time is short-lived and ends the moment I get down at Mira Road station. Then again it’s a mad rush – buy vegetables and fruits, get the children from the crèche, cook, wash clothes, and teach – so I am back into the roller-coaster.
Like I said, these couple of hours is very precious to me. I get irritated if these hours go berserk and things don’t happen in my favour. So I have to be very careful of what I am reading in the train. I have to utilize my ‘me’ time well and so I cannot read anything stupid. I choose my books well for the train and as I believe that Classic Literature is growing on me, I have started pulling out my old Classics from the shelf. There are so many unread books that I am really amazed at my collection. I have just stocked them for God knows what. Now when I read these books, I can see the book marks left on the second/third pages. I remember getting bored of these slow books and switching on to something fast. How callous of me. I agree Classics are slow but like I mentioned earlier, it grows on you. And it is growing well on me now. I will be fine if I don’t buy books for the next 3-4 months as I have enough stock in the library. It’s high time I did justice to them.
Coming back to my ‘me’ time, every day I look forward to my train ride back home…..it’s my daily dose of elixir……….!!!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
My Life…
Since yesterday I am reading ‘An Anonymous Story’ by Anton Chekhov. I got the idea of picking up words from this story that describe my life the most. So here are some words which I feel is synonymous to my life.
Coffee – Music – Books – Reading - Greek philosopher - Believing in God – Holidays – Children – Family – Walking – Love – Spectacles – White – Home – Wife - Ten o'clock – Smile – Sea – winter – Literature – Laughter – Shopping - Passionately in love - Passionately loved – Sleep – Domestic - Home-loving – Bedroom – Dreaming – Husband - Romantic attitude – Enjoyment – Beautiful - In love and happy – Charming – Adorable - Snow and frost – Money – Gold - Bad temper – Purse – Tears – Skirt – Thoughts – Temperamental – Writing – Words - Lovely hair – Kiss – Rings – Chestnut – Sentimental – Affectionate – Joyousness – Cleaning – Sweeping – Cooking – Garden – Hope – Heart – Clothes – Purchases – Fashion – Marriage – Christmas – Memory – Quarreling – Passion – Friday – Eating – Instinct – Shoes – Obstinate
Coffee – Music – Books – Reading - Greek philosopher - Believing in God – Holidays – Children – Family – Walking – Love – Spectacles – White – Home – Wife - Ten o'clock – Smile – Sea – winter – Literature – Laughter – Shopping - Passionately in love - Passionately loved – Sleep – Domestic - Home-loving – Bedroom – Dreaming – Husband - Romantic attitude – Enjoyment – Beautiful - In love and happy – Charming – Adorable - Snow and frost – Money – Gold - Bad temper – Purse – Tears – Skirt – Thoughts – Temperamental – Writing – Words - Lovely hair – Kiss – Rings – Chestnut – Sentimental – Affectionate – Joyousness – Cleaning – Sweeping – Cooking – Garden – Hope – Heart – Clothes – Purchases – Fashion – Marriage – Christmas – Memory – Quarreling – Passion – Friday – Eating – Instinct – Shoes – Obstinate
Thursday, March 31, 2011
“Recalled to life”
Last night, I did something which I haven’t done since a long, long time. I watched the India-Pakistan semi-final match in the ICC World Cup tournament. I was glued to the television set and hooted and cheered every time a Pakistan wicket fell. I totally lost control of myself and trust me, it really felt nice. I really enjoyed it immensely. I guess I need to do this quite often.
While watching the match, I also saw Aamir Khan and Waqar Younis. That regenerated me all the more. It was so exhilarating to see my second most favourite cricketer after such a long gap. He’s the coach of Pakistan cricket team now.
I have altered so much. I can’t believe that I am the same person who used to be so crazy for Sanjay Manjrekar and Waqar Younis. I used to collect their photographs and make a point to watch all matches played by them. I entered journalism only because of Manjrekar and with the ambition of meeting him. Well, I did meet him while I was a trainee at “The Free Press Journal”. That was on 2nd October, 1997. I will never forget this day and the moments I spent with Manjrekar as a journalist. My dream of interviewing him came true that day but I also lost something. I guess I lost the madness of becoming a sports journalist because of the cold treatment I received from him. I found him very ‘khadoos’. I couldn’t believe that he was the same Manjrekar whom I had ‘adored’ so much and been so ‘close’. I guess all my teenage fantasies were shattered that day by the cold treatment I got from him. Slowly, the craze for him faded and once he retired from cricket, I didn’t bother to keep track of his personal as well as cricketing life. I guess if he had to show a little ‘warmth’ towards me, I wouldn’t have ‘left’ him. May be he took my feelings for him in a wrong way and thought I was just another crazy fan looking out for God knows what. Whatever it is, his craze was subsided soon after this meeting and with that the craze for cricket as well. Then slowly Waqar and Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, my most favourite tennis player, also moved out of my life. It was the phase when I had to get hold of my life. I had started working and had no time for hobbies.
Then work pressure and matrimony and motherhood took centre stage and all my favourite pastimes like watching cricket and tennis, keeping a scrapbook, and other so-called ‘trivialities’ were pushed into the backburner. I could only manage to keep the habit of reading and listening to music. Music - because it can be kept on in the background, while I can continue with my domestic chores. Reading because I need to travel in the train to go to work! That’s the reason I like to travel by train – I can read! But of late, though I feel guilty of intruding into the family time, I have started reading at home also. I just can’t help it. I need it……..
But I am sure I have been “recalled to life” after watching this India-Pakistan match. There’s this urge to continue with my teenage life – like watching cricket and tennis, collecting photographs of Manjrekar, Waqar and Arantxa – and sticking them in my scrapbook. I want to do all this all over again…….Just the other day, Jemimah was asking for a scrapbook and I didn’t get it for her. So now, instead of one, I will buy three scrapbooks – one for Jemimah, one for Jewel and one for me……I want to bring back a bit of my childhood and teenage days……all that was good………….I want to relive my life…………..backwards………………..!!!
Just the thought of it makes me feel so good
While watching the match, I also saw Aamir Khan and Waqar Younis. That regenerated me all the more. It was so exhilarating to see my second most favourite cricketer after such a long gap. He’s the coach of Pakistan cricket team now.
I have altered so much. I can’t believe that I am the same person who used to be so crazy for Sanjay Manjrekar and Waqar Younis. I used to collect their photographs and make a point to watch all matches played by them. I entered journalism only because of Manjrekar and with the ambition of meeting him. Well, I did meet him while I was a trainee at “The Free Press Journal”. That was on 2nd October, 1997. I will never forget this day and the moments I spent with Manjrekar as a journalist. My dream of interviewing him came true that day but I also lost something. I guess I lost the madness of becoming a sports journalist because of the cold treatment I received from him. I found him very ‘khadoos’. I couldn’t believe that he was the same Manjrekar whom I had ‘adored’ so much and been so ‘close’. I guess all my teenage fantasies were shattered that day by the cold treatment I got from him. Slowly, the craze for him faded and once he retired from cricket, I didn’t bother to keep track of his personal as well as cricketing life. I guess if he had to show a little ‘warmth’ towards me, I wouldn’t have ‘left’ him. May be he took my feelings for him in a wrong way and thought I was just another crazy fan looking out for God knows what. Whatever it is, his craze was subsided soon after this meeting and with that the craze for cricket as well. Then slowly Waqar and Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, my most favourite tennis player, also moved out of my life. It was the phase when I had to get hold of my life. I had started working and had no time for hobbies.
Then work pressure and matrimony and motherhood took centre stage and all my favourite pastimes like watching cricket and tennis, keeping a scrapbook, and other so-called ‘trivialities’ were pushed into the backburner. I could only manage to keep the habit of reading and listening to music. Music - because it can be kept on in the background, while I can continue with my domestic chores. Reading because I need to travel in the train to go to work! That’s the reason I like to travel by train – I can read! But of late, though I feel guilty of intruding into the family time, I have started reading at home also. I just can’t help it. I need it……..
But I am sure I have been “recalled to life” after watching this India-Pakistan match. There’s this urge to continue with my teenage life – like watching cricket and tennis, collecting photographs of Manjrekar, Waqar and Arantxa – and sticking them in my scrapbook. I want to do all this all over again…….Just the other day, Jemimah was asking for a scrapbook and I didn’t get it for her. So now, instead of one, I will buy three scrapbooks – one for Jemimah, one for Jewel and one for me……I want to bring back a bit of my childhood and teenage days……all that was good………….I want to relive my life…………..backwards………………..!!!
Just the thought of it makes me feel so good
Noruwei no Mori
“……I don't want to waste valuable time reading any book that has not had the baptism of time. Life is too short” says a character from ‘Norwegian Wood’ (NW), the e-book which I am currently reading. It is a 1987 novel by Japanese author Haruki Murakami. Its Japanese version is Noruwei no Mori (whatever it means)! Well, I am not a very ‘novel’ person but I like this one. It was recommended by someone. This same someone had recommended ‘Les Miserables’ also by Victor Hugo which I had found so boring and stopped reading after a few pages. So I wasn’t reading NW till yesterday. I wasn’t sure about the story. It is my reading rule - I don’t go by recommendations. I like to go by my own judgment - I won’t blame anyone if I go wrong!
But NW is a nostalgic story of loss and sexuality and mental illness and everything that I don’t like. I am just into the story and I guess I like all these which I just mentioned as not liking. That’s why I am taking the trouble of writing about the book in my blog. Before this e-book, I finished the print version of ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ by Charles Dickens and ‘The Age of Innocence’ by Edith Wharton. In these two books, there wasn’t anything that appealed to me or touched my heart though at times I did like the latter one. But it didn’t have the capacity to ‘move’ me. I left ‘Ben Hur’ midway. Then I read a few short stories by Guy de Maupassant but NW is doing the ‘works’ for me. Though I might not like to agree, it’s a good change. But don’t know how long this change can be sustained………………
PS: I guess I am turning out to be a book reviewer
But NW is a nostalgic story of loss and sexuality and mental illness and everything that I don’t like. I am just into the story and I guess I like all these which I just mentioned as not liking. That’s why I am taking the trouble of writing about the book in my blog. Before this e-book, I finished the print version of ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ by Charles Dickens and ‘The Age of Innocence’ by Edith Wharton. In these two books, there wasn’t anything that appealed to me or touched my heart though at times I did like the latter one. But it didn’t have the capacity to ‘move’ me. I left ‘Ben Hur’ midway. Then I read a few short stories by Guy de Maupassant but NW is doing the ‘works’ for me. Though I might not like to agree, it’s a good change. But don’t know how long this change can be sustained………………
PS: I guess I am turning out to be a book reviewer
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Mother Mary
From yesterday, I have started saying the rosary on my own in the train. Since I have finished reading the Old Testament (OT), I thought I should be praying in the train before getting started with the New Testament (NT). Today was my second day in the train and while I was saying the rosary, I was enchanted by Mother Mary. She got me thinking.
She was barely 15 when angel (Gabriel) of the God appeared to her and told her that she will be conceiving a baby boy by the power of the Holy Spirit. What makes me think is that any girl at that age would have got flabbergasted and would have been so much scared hearing all this. But I guess as she was truly chosen by God to be the mother of His son Jesus Christ, she didn’t doubt or question the angel or anyone. She took it so positively and in fact must have felt so proud to be the chosen one. No wonder then Roman Catholics still revere her so much.
I wanna be like her. In fact, when I went for my Christmas confessions, the priest had told me that I was like mother Mary of my home and my children look up to me for guidance and love and also as an individual. He had told me to be patient and calm like her but at that time I had found it little disturbing because I thought how could he compare me with Mother Mary. After all, she is the mother of our Saviour and how can I, a sinner, be compared with her.
But now while writing this I can fully get the picture. What he actually meant was that I should be inculcating the love and affection of Mother Mary for Jesus and be loving and affectionate to my children just like her. And honestly, I really need a lot of patience because patience is something I just don’t have.
Take today’s example. Goldie has an eye infection and has to be given eye drops regularly. But since she is taking eye drops for the very first time, she was getting scared of the liquid falling in her eye. She was refusing to take the medicine. And I kept screaming and shouting and threatening. I lost my temper and forced the drops into her eyes.
What I actually needed during this time, and for that matter always, is patience. The patience of Mother Mary. I need to be calm and composed like her in the trials and tribulations of my everyday life. Now I can fully comprehend what the priest was trying to tell me by making that statement.
So while saying the everyday rosary, I need to put in the petition for calm and composed mental frame of mind just like Mother Mary. Also, to be loving and caring like her because nowhere in the NT has she been shown reprimanding Jesus for anything. When she and Joseph came searching for Jesus in the temple, though they are shown to be worried for him, they don’t rebuke him. Instead they express their concern for him, speaking sweetly, without getting angry a bit.
So even I want to speak sweetly with Jemimah and Jewel and not use harsh words for them. I want Mother Mary’s tranquil composure and patience to guide me whenever my kids are wrong. I wanna chide them in a loving manner. I want to be a tower of patience like her. I ask for this grace from my Jesus and his mother…Amen.
She was barely 15 when angel (Gabriel) of the God appeared to her and told her that she will be conceiving a baby boy by the power of the Holy Spirit. What makes me think is that any girl at that age would have got flabbergasted and would have been so much scared hearing all this. But I guess as she was truly chosen by God to be the mother of His son Jesus Christ, she didn’t doubt or question the angel or anyone. She took it so positively and in fact must have felt so proud to be the chosen one. No wonder then Roman Catholics still revere her so much.
I wanna be like her. In fact, when I went for my Christmas confessions, the priest had told me that I was like mother Mary of my home and my children look up to me for guidance and love and also as an individual. He had told me to be patient and calm like her but at that time I had found it little disturbing because I thought how could he compare me with Mother Mary. After all, she is the mother of our Saviour and how can I, a sinner, be compared with her.
But now while writing this I can fully get the picture. What he actually meant was that I should be inculcating the love and affection of Mother Mary for Jesus and be loving and affectionate to my children just like her. And honestly, I really need a lot of patience because patience is something I just don’t have.
Take today’s example. Goldie has an eye infection and has to be given eye drops regularly. But since she is taking eye drops for the very first time, she was getting scared of the liquid falling in her eye. She was refusing to take the medicine. And I kept screaming and shouting and threatening. I lost my temper and forced the drops into her eyes.
What I actually needed during this time, and for that matter always, is patience. The patience of Mother Mary. I need to be calm and composed like her in the trials and tribulations of my everyday life. Now I can fully comprehend what the priest was trying to tell me by making that statement.
So while saying the everyday rosary, I need to put in the petition for calm and composed mental frame of mind just like Mother Mary. Also, to be loving and caring like her because nowhere in the NT has she been shown reprimanding Jesus for anything. When she and Joseph came searching for Jesus in the temple, though they are shown to be worried for him, they don’t rebuke him. Instead they express their concern for him, speaking sweetly, without getting angry a bit.
So even I want to speak sweetly with Jemimah and Jewel and not use harsh words for them. I want Mother Mary’s tranquil composure and patience to guide me whenever my kids are wrong. I wanna chide them in a loving manner. I want to be a tower of patience like her. I ask for this grace from my Jesus and his mother…Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
