Ten years back…

Ten years back, on this day i.e. 15th April, 2001, I got converted to Christianity. From a Bengali Brahmin I had become a Roman Catholic.

Honestly, I wasn’t all that happy that day as I would have been today. Today I jump with joy at the slightest opportunity of serving the Lord and being close to Him. But at that time I didn’t have the same feelings. May be the circumstances…we were just thrown out of Jason’s house and we had no place of our own. We were staying at a friend’s place for few days and we had gone for this big occasion not-so-happy. There was no joy in our hearts but there was Jemimah (the messenger of peace) in my womb.

Or may be faith…! The kind of love and feelings I have today for Jesus Christ has taken a long time to come. Though I had no compunctions to go to church to attend mass, I wasn’t all that faithful to Jesus. The right kind of feelings was missing. It has taken 9 and half years to get that feeling of faith. I would pray, I would attend rosaries, I would attend mass, I went on a vegetarian diet every Lent, and I even enrolled myself in Bible study classes and became an animator in my SCC; but that feeling, that faith, that oneness with Jesus was just missing. I lacked the right faith.

That right faith came to me around seven months back in September 2010 when I actually started ‘speaking’ with Jesus. One day in ‘deep pain’ I looked towards the statue of Jesus in our bedroom and cried out, “Lord help me, I cannot take this pain anymore”. I swear that was the moment for me. I was born again. That was my calling. Jesus heard me and lifted me and embraced me in his outstretched hands. He washed all my ‘wounds’ by his blood and since then has kept me hidden (safe and sound) in his own wounds. I feel protected and loved in His embrace. He uplifted me and kept me going during my trying times.

I’ll be forever grateful to Him for what He has done for me and as a token of my love and appreciation, this Lent I decided to forego a lot things I love doing – shopping, coffee, FB, lunch, etc. – all because He loves me and has proved over and over again just how much.

I am glad NOW that Jesus came into my life ten years back…..I wasn’t glad THEN………..