19th June – Our Juneteenth

It is historically interesting to note that the biggest event on 19th June, 1999, was the wedding of Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex, and Sophie Rhys-Jones in St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle. But I am more interested in narrating about the incident that happened in my life on that day. Probably, at the time the Prince was getting ‘hitched’, even God was planning to get me ‘hitched’ for life; though little did I know about it when I alighted from the Virar-bound train at Dadar station that rainy Saturday evening. (Like romantic novels, I won’t add ‘beautiful’ before rainy here because honestly I don’t think there was anything beautiful about that rainy evening). Nevertheless, I decided to keep the ‘date’ I had with him (Jason Alexander Cardozo) for that evening.

While my train ‘arrived’ at Dadar station and I alighted at platform no. 3 to keep my so-called ‘date’ I was absolutely clueless that years and years back, the Statue of Liberty had ‘arrived’ at its permanent home at Bedloe’s Island in New York Harbor on that very day, aboard the French frigate Isere. I guess I have all the ‘Liberty’ of being mushy and say that even I had ‘arrived’ at my ‘permanent home’ – his heart! Again I didn’t know about it then in 1999; but today, thirteen years down the line, I am glad to write that I made a wise decision of accepting his proposal; of not saying ‘no’ to him when he was proposing to me.

It was the 170th day of the year and destiny had grand plans for me in the next 195 days remaining until the end of that year. A decade later, in 2009, a British psychologist Dr Cliff Arnall devised a formula to pinpoint that the day we all are most likely to feel the ‘cheeriest’ is on June 19. That year, June 19, according to some formula, was the “happiest day” of the year. In Britain, it was officially declared as the happiest day of 2009. It was indeed for me, an Indian, as well. I had completed one decade of togetherness with him.

This same psychologist also wrote that “the most important thing in our lives is our relationships – and no amount of money can buy that”. He also wrote that “any psychologist, life coach or happiness expert will tell you that relationships with people are what make you happy”. Well, I can blindly vouch for this because as the saying goes “guys get and forget” I am sure anybody else “getting” me would have “forgotten” me soon after; that person wouldn’t have shown me the same kind of love and affection and attention he shows to me even after 13 years of our married life because as Martin Luther King has said, “there is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage” and I really thank my stars for conspiring in favor of me on that Saturday evening thirteen years back.

In America, this day is also known as Juneteenth – the date set aside for the celebration of freedom from the end of enslavement for Americans of African descent. It is recognized by almost 40 states, the District of Columbia and the U.S. Congress as “Juneteenth Independence Day”. I guess it was a Juneteenth Independence Day for me as well – I got independence from my mundane loveless life because as Mother Teresa said, “loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible”. During this phase, I used to be very lonely, felt unwanted and was at the lowest point in my life – luckily, this love arrived and cured me of all my loneliness and “unwantedness” and brought me out from nothingness to existence. Like earlier, it didn’t create “a hole in my heart”. Here for no reason at all, I would like to add this beautiful quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow – “If I am not worth the wooing, I am surely not worth the winning”. All I can say here is that he found me worth wooing and he surely won me.

Confucius has said that “can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?” but honestly he has no big demands from me except that I stop shouting at the kids and fighting with him. I try hard to give up all that but some habits die hard.

For us Alexander Smith’s awesome quote fits well – “Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition”. We began discovering ourselves from 5 o’clock onwards on that rainy evening (under my baby pink umbrella) thirteen years back at Bandra Bandstand. And since then, we have been delighting in each other’s recognition. For us, love is the answer for everything! Unlike William Shakespeare’s philosophical one-liner which says, “The course of true love never did run smooth”, praise the Lord, it has been running smoothly for us right from day one because it was well-planned by the Lord Himself. How wrong Publilius Syrus was when he said that “the gods never let us love and be wise at the same time” because I feel to love him and eventually marry him was one of the wisest decisions I ever took in my life (though I hardly confess this to him).

So a very Happy Juneteenth to us both!!!