Plateaus & Plato

People keep asking me what I do for a living.

Well, my answer to them is that I breathe, I eat, and I sleep. I repeat this day in and day out. Isn’t that required for living as I am a living being?

And I also love being at home.

I have always loved being at home because I am a homebody. Right from the beginning of my life I have enjoyed being at home. Even now I prefer spending most of my time in the familiar environs of my home than somewhere outside. It takes a lot of my efforts and cajoling to be seen out there doing something. That’s the reason I never went out of my way to get even my passport done until recently. I love being in my own country, with the people I know. I would be lost in unfamiliar surroundings.

It is because of this homebody tendency that I prefer working out of home. It was a great struggle for me to be working as a full time professional. Consciously, I would pick up low profile jobs which didn’t demand much of my time outside home. I got working not out of ambition and passion but financial independence as I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. When kids came in my life, they became the reason to be home on time – I would hate anyone or anything stopping me after official hours. As I have mentioned many times before, I sacrificed jobs to be with them and in the place I loved.

Even as a student, I had my own preferences. May be the homebody in me liked to study the subjects that I really loved. I would prefer reading about plateaus and Plato instead of pentagons, polygons and Pythagorean theorems. This earned me the wrath of many teachers but I was fine with it as I always knew where I had my heart lingering and I was happy in my own small world and have always been. Historical characters and geographical conditions interested me more than the mathematical calculations and scientific names of plants and animals.

I never had any lofty ambitions of making it big in the corporate world.

I love doing what makes me happy and being at home is what does the trick.

That drop of blood…

I can still feel it on my left thumb though it fell on me some years back…

I cannot remember the exact year but most probably it was the second half of 2012. I had started working from home and would travel only for meetings and press conferences.

I remember very well that when that drop of blood fell on my left thumb I was in the train. I was going to Churchgate to attend one press conference at one of the hotel’s there. I guess it was Intercontinental and the venue was somewhere in the basement – it was GJEPC’s press conference!

So when this drop of blood fell on me I was shocked and felt very dirty. I wiped it off immediately wondering how it could fall on me in the train. I immediately looked at the ceiling of the train but I couldn’t find anything fishy. It was dry. I looked out of the train from the window. The train was moving fast and so nothing could come from outside. I kept looking everywhere and kept wiping my thumb to clean that sticky feeling.

Till date I have not been able to figure out from where that drop of blood fell on me.

But the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that it was nothing but Jesus’ blood.

Yes, it has to be Jesus’ blood because it was during that time that I was getting into many ministries. I had completed my two-year Bible course and become a catechist. Then I became an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion. So I am convinced that Jesus wanted to purify me and make me a new person to take on all these responsibilities. And that one tiny drop of blood of Jesus was enough to cleanse me and make me what I am today and to become in the years to come.

This can be the only mystery of that drop of blood because from where could that drop fall on me in the moving train. No matter what the world says, I am fully convinced that it was Jesus’ blood on my left thumb that purified me to make me a better person to serve in his vineyard.

Bhadralok Culture

According to Wikipedia, the Bhadralok Culture literally 'gentleman', 'well-mannered person' is Bengali for the new class of 'gentlefolk' who arose during British colonial times (approximately 1757 to 1947) in Bengal. It was created by the British for running the colonial state; the bhadralok was usually an educated, cultured and language-proud pen-pusher.

Their womenfolk were not likely to appear too freely in public in quite exiguous attire.

saat moholaa bari

Most of the zamindars in Bengali were living in saat moholaa bari or seven floor houses. A typical zamindari home would contain seven different mahals or palaces. The andar mahal (ladies inner quarters), baithak khaanaa (the parlour), naach mahal (the music room) , thakur bari (temple of deities), Durga bari (palace for durgotsav ) and two more which I am not aware of. This whole luxurious premise together would constitute one zamindar bari.


Such opulent display of wealth was only possible in rural settings. The zamindars of Calcutta, even if they had sufficient wealth, often did not manage to build seven palaces due to acute shortage of space in the bustling city.

The Seven Sorrows of Our Blessed Mother

1. The prophecy of Simeon: "And Simeon blessed them, and said to Mary his mother: Behold this child is set for the fall and for the resurrection of many in Israel, and for a sign which shall be contradicted; And thy own soul a sword shall pierce, that out of many hearts thoughts may be revealed" (Luke 2: 34-35).


2. The flight into Egypt: "And after they (the wise men) were departed, behold an angel of the Lord appeared in sleep to Joseph, saying: Arise and take the child and His mother and fly into Egypt: and be there until I shall tell thee. For it will come to pass that Herod will seek the child to destroy Him. Who arose and took the child and His mother by night, and retired into Egypt: and He was there until the death of Herod" (Mathew 2: 13-14).


3. The loss of the Child Jesus in the temple: "And having fulfilled the days, when they returned, the Child Jesus remained in Jerusalem; and His parents knew it not. And thinking that he was in the company, they came a day's journey, and sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance. And not finding Him, they returned into Jerusalem, seeking Him" (Luke 2: 43-45).


4. The meeting of Jesus and Mary on the Way of the Cross: "And there followed Him a great multitude of people, and of women, who bewailed and lamented Him" (Luke 23: 27).


5. The Crucifixion: "They crucified Him. Now there stood by the cross of Jesus, His Mother. When Jesus therefore had seen His Mother and the disciple standing whom he loved, He saith to His Mother: Woman: behold thy son. After that he saith to the disciple: Behold thy Mother" (John 19: 25-27).


6. The taking down of the Body of Jesus from the Cross: "Joseph of Arimathea, a noble counsellor, came and went in boldly to Pilate, and begged the body of Jesus. And Joseph buying fine linen, and taking Him down, wrapped Him up in the fine linen" (Mark 15: 43-46).


7. The burial of Jesus: "Now there was in the place where He was crucified, a garden; and in the garden a new sepulchre, wherein no man yet had been laid. There, therefore, because of the parasceve of the Jews, they laid Jesus, because the sepulchre was nigh at hand" (John 19: 41-42).

Aami jodi jomidar ginni hotam…

If I were a zamindar lady…


From the time I have come to know about my zamindari roots, I just can’t stop thinking about myself being a jomidar ginni or a zamindar lady. My mind is coming up with all kinds of ideas and I am daydreaming about my life in the zamindar era.


So, if I were a zamindar lady…


I would have been cooking zamindari cuisine…


I would have been one of the feudal classes then in Bengal, who were usually marked by arrogance…


I would have been a patron of Sanskrit literature and music…Also a patron of Sanskrit culture in Bengal…


My bor or husband would have had an extravagant life style…


My house or bari would have been situated on the southern banks of the Jalangi river in Krishnanagar…


I might have gone to visit Ghurni which is the neighbourhood of the clay artists…


My home would have had a thakur dalan for worship…


I would be performing nari bratas or magico-religious rites like the other womenfolk…


I would have been accustomed to the bhadralok culture…


As a rich jomidar ginni I would have stayed in seclusion in the andarmahals and the working women of my bari would have provided link to the outside world…


I would be living in a male-dominated society…


Sadly, I would have been economically and socially oppressed…


I would have had a deplorable condition like all other womenfolk of Bengal…

Exaltation of the Holy Cross

Then the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people, so that many people of Israel died. And the people came to Moses, and said, "We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD and against you; pray to the LORD, that he take away the serpents from us." So Moses prayed for the people. And the LORD said to Moses, "Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and everyone who is bitten, when he sees it, shall live." So Moses made a bronze serpent, and set it on a pole; and if a serpent bit any man, he would look at the bronze serpent and live.
Numbers 21: 6-9

There’s a superstitious tale attached to the death of my ancestors. It seems that many generations back one of the patriarch’s killed a female snake. He killed her when she was romancing with her partner. So the male cursed my family saying that as he pines for his partner so shall all the males of my family pine for their females and die an early death. And looks like this thing happened for many of them. None of the male members of the family have ever been happily married. There always has been some marital problem.

But the females have been spared. May be because God always knew one female member of the family will ‘look up to the cross and be saved’…

Thank you, Jesus, for saving me…