It's been ages...!

OMG! Its been ages since I updated my blog.

Well, its not my fault. I was busy with the India International Jewellery Week (IIJW) and then with India International Jewellery Show (IIJS). I was working almost round-the-clock. But I thoroughly enjoyed it and had one of the best experiences of my life.

Now I can breathe and behave normal.

My Chestnut and Black are gone….

We mutually agreed to set Chestnut and Black free. They have gone back to the place from where we brought them. This decision was taken to make their life beautiful by giving them the opportunity to live out-of-chains. At home, we had been keeping them house arrested, taking them only for occasional morning and evening walks, merely to let them answer their nature’s call. For the rest of the day, they would only sit staring at the bathroom walls, vacated for them.

Now they can roam anywhere they want to and anytime they want to. There wouldn’t be any restrictions for them. In fact, we have seen them running about happily in the entire parking area the way they used to during their childhood before we brought them home. We got them home with good intentions and to give them a good life; we de-wormed and vaccinated them; and gave plenty of healthy food, love and care. We strengthened their system and now they can fight their own battles.

But I will miss them forever. I will miss the way they used to behave when they saw me. They stayed with us from 24th January, 2010 to 31st July, 2010 – six months and 7 days. They will always have a special place in my heart. I have loved them a lot and am sure they too will never forget me and might come running behind me if they happen to see me passing by. Lovingly l called them ‘Koos’ and they will forever be my Koos. There will be no other Koos for me. Just the two of them……….

Hospitalized :(

On Monday night, I was hospitalized. Since then I am in the hospital. I am writing my blog from the hospital. Don't know what to write but just keeping myself engrossed and my blog updated.

Its really so painful to be in the hospital. The nurses are so ruthless. The sight of needles and tubes and the smell of medicine is really killing me. I am missing my home.

I am missing my daughters. I am missing my husband. I am missing my doggies. I am having a pathetic time of my life.

No fear of rejection

It’s been 12 days since the time I have written about anything. Fact is, there wasn’t much to write about and here I am just to keep the blog going. It shouldn’t look dull. After all, it’s BRAND JUBILEE CARDOZO.

Phew! I am still scratching my head for a topic. But this is my blog. I can write whatever I want to and anyhow I want to. There’s no one sitting on my head to edit my writing and I have no deadlines to meet. I don’t have to rewrite my stuff if my stupid editor doesn’t like it. I don’t have the fear of rejection. It’s my world and my writing. I am the queen.

July 11

At dawn on the morning of July 11, 19.., yours truly was born.

More than a century ago, on this very day in 1859, “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens was published. No wonder then Charles Dickens is my most favourite Classic Literature writer though I haven’t yet read this book. But since it was published on the day I was born, I intend to read it sooner than later now.

Then in 1893, the first cultured pearl was obtained by Kokichi Mikimoto. My love for gems and jewellery and now pearls is not unknown. In fact, pearl is my birthstone. So I’ll have to get a pearl…...soon.

A total solar eclipse will be occurring on July 11, 2010. I hope it doesn’t eclipse all my birthday plans.

And this is something I have always known. World Population Day is celebrated on 11th July every year. Well, just because I am born on this day, one can’t celebrate such days. Am I taking up so much space on the face on this earth?

Being a mother!

Last night, while going to sleep, Goldie asked me a very thought-provoking question. She asked, “Do you like being a mother or it’s boring”? For that fraction of a second, I had to quickly think of an answer which would not be wrong and hurt her feelings. Luckily for me, I answered, “I like being your as well as Dibai’s (Jemimah) mother. Not anyone else’s”. At this, she hugged me tight. I think this answer satisfied her.

But her question kept me awake for a while and set me thinking. I was actually thinking how it is for me being a mother. So far, it has come to me with its own share of ups and downs. More of downs because being a working mother, I have always craved for that “extra hour” to be added to my busy curriculum. I have to run the round-the-clock marathon and things don’t always go my way.

Of course, there have been some very satisfying and fulfilling moments also when I have felt very proud of being a mother. But like I am saying, there have been more of testing moments depending on the mood and behavior of the children as well as me. I haven’t received anything on the platter.

Most of my previous bosses have been so non-cooperative that I had to give up so many jobs just to look after my daughters. Though being a mother has been the most difficult and challenging task for me, I am happy to learn from each and every debacle and setback.

“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.” says, Oscar Wilde in “The Importance of Being Earnest”. Well, I don’t know how much I have become like my mother because the greatest differentiating factor between me and my mom is that she has always being a homemaker whereas I had to slog it out-of-home as well right from the word go. This has made me aggressive and I have the tendency of losing my temper at the drop of a hat. She doesn’t get flustered that easily. But I too have my own virtues of being a mother.

But to reiterate Goldie’s question: yes, I like being a mother and I am proud of being a mother. All stumbling blocks are just making me learn how to handle tricky situations in motherhood. Like the tagline of Surf Excel “daag acche hai”, I would like to say, “stumbling blocks acche hai”.

No skill in sense to make distinction

“....which of them both is dearest to me - I have no skill in sense to make distinction”.

This line is from “All's Well That Ends Well” by William Shakespeare. I was reading this play online when I came across this sentence and it immediately struck me. Here is a line which is so much connected to my life.

My two daughters, who are like two peas in a pod, are so much dear to me and my hubby, that we both really don’t have any skills to make distinction between the two. Till date, we haven’t done so and I always pray to Jesus Christ that we shouldn’t do so anytime. They mean a lot to us and how can we make any distinction between these two cute little angels.

Right from the day Goldie was born; I made it a practice with me to buy things in pairs. I always make sure that when I buy a certain thing for Jemimah, there should be a similar thing for Goldie as well. When I do something for Goldie, I make sure that I do it for Jemimah as well. I don’t want any comparisons, any negativity, and any sibling rivalry between the two.

When Jemimah joined karate classes three years back, I wanted Goldie to join too. But she was too young to be enrolled for karate so I waited three years. Now they both go for karate classes happily, hand in hand, and it’s such a pretty sight. They both go for vocal singing classes and Jemimah is learning guitar and Goldie keyboard. They themselves wanted it this way.

As far as possible, we try to create similarity for them both. For this very reason, when I adopted Chestnut and Black, I brought both of them home as even they used to be together and I didn’t want to separate them from each other’s company. Now even though they fight with each other, they are very loving and this is so much like the bonhomie shared between Jemimah and Jewel.