St. Elizabeth of the Trinity

Today is the memorial of St. Elizabeth of the Trinity - the patron saint of our OCDS community. She has been largely instrumental in keeping me grounded in Carmel. Not by her writings but by her similarity with my life. 

To begin with, both of us are born in July. Both of our fathers have been in the defence forces and both were smokers and heavy drinkers. Both of us have a fiery temper and both of us love gardens. Both of us have been influenced by the writings of St. Paul and both of us feel close to Mary Magdalene. 

So initially, it was St. Elizabeth of the Trinity who motivated me to be a Carmelite. I did a lot of research on her and started loving Carmel and the idea of being a Carmelite. 

I owe my Carmel love and respect to her. 

If today I feel the honour and proud privilege of being a Carmelite, it is because of St. Elizabeth of the Trinity. 

But the reason I did not take her name as my religious name is that every other person was taking it. But most importantly, it is Mary Magdalene's love for Jesus that inspires me. Somehow the idea of being Jesus' Magdalene is what keeps me going in life. 

OCDS Presidentship

Dear DLL Jesus,

Today I complete one year of OCDS presidentship.🙏🏻

The journey so far has been quite good except for a few teething problems (lights being kept on after the weekly meetings) and one council member filled with ego!🙃

But I can handle all things in You who strengthens me!🙏🏻

So today I pray for the strength to carry on for two more years the responsibility that you have entrusted to me. 

I also pray that I don't make anyone fall into any kind of temptation because of me. Please Lord let no one fall into temptation because of me!🙏🏻 Let me not fall into any kind of temptation and even if I inevitably fall, give me the grace and strength to come back to you through repentance and realization. But let me not be the cause of anyone's sin.🙏🏻

Please Lord, please!!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

2012

Dear DLL Jesus,

After many days the evening is free as all work is done.

So I am sitting idly and wondering what to do.

For many days now I have been wanting to write about the year 2012. The year I became a catechist in June and an Extraordinary Minister of the Holy Communion in November. That was the year I started coming closer to you and started working from home. That was the year I also earned the most. So if 1988 is my favourite year from my childhood, then 2012 is my favourite year of adulthood. I am extremely sentimental about the year 2012.🤗

That's it? Oh, it was so quick to write! I thought that I would write more. Nevertheless, there are many blog posts from 2012. I just have to click on 2012 and all my posts will come cascading down. I am sure I blogged a lot in 2012.🤗

Hmmm, so let me just check what I wrote!!!🤭

Definitive Promise

Last year on this day, I along with ten others, took my Definitive Promise. I took the Final Vows to be faithful to the OCDS. I was so happy that I was overdressed for the occasion. And I was reprimanded for that.😔 But Lord, you know the heart of the people. When the world judges us externally, you judge us internally - you know us inside out. 

And you have always known what is in my heart - what goes on inside my heart for you - the kind of feelings I have for you!🤗

That's why three days immediately after this you made me the President of my OCDS community - the Secretary became the President!🙏 You exalted this humble Secretary to the highest level by making her the President - you truly know what goes on in my heart for you!❤️ 

But the role of the President is difficult, Lord. Almost every day I am reprimanded for something or the other - it goes on and on! But I won't give up - it is you who inspired the members to elect me as the President - you find me suitable for the role of the President. So Lord, bless me that I can do my job sincerely. Be my guide, Lord - be my strength and let me do the best according to my capabilities.🙏

Pretty in Purple💜

Today the church looked pretty in purple💜

And I prayed for a good death🙏

In the morning I read that today, way back in 1535 (most probably), St. Teresa of Avila left her home to join a Carmelite monastery - much against the wish of her father! Her father was upset about this!

This reminded me of my father who was upset with me when he read about my conversion in the marriage affidavit. He didn't want to sign them! He signed only when I removed that clause from the affidavit. That was in December 1999.

Without his knowledge, I got converted in April 2001.

But till his death in the very next year in April 2002, I did not tell him. I told no one. But I just went on in life without any closeness to you! I didn't feel anything for you!😥

But then how could you leave me lukewarm?🥰

Your magic started working on me🤗♥️🤗

It became so magical that here I am today, writing to you, my DLL or my Daddy Long Legs and I am your Judith, your Magdalene, who can't live a single moment without writing or conversing with you!🤗🤗

Thank you so much, Lord, for this transformation - for this beautiful life in you!❤️❤️

In your Kingdom, Lord

Dear DLL Jesus,

In today's All Saints Day homily, when the priest said that we all should aspire to be saints to live in God's Kingdom, the immediate thought that came to me was that "I am already in God's Kingdom"! And my heart rejoiced at that! 

From then on, I have been waiting to write about this thought that came to me today! After all, what is God's Kingdom? 

According to Rom 14:17, "Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." And I am not striving hard for this?

So Lord, am I not already living in your Kingdom? Am I not a Saint? 

Does your heart pine for me?

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy......."

Dear DLL Jesus,

These Scripture words from yesterday's evening prayer and then for the meditation at the OCDS meeting gave me the answer to my interior battles with which I have been struggling for quite some time now. I realised that if I love you so much without seeing you, how much would I have loved you if I had to see you? I realised that you are that unseen one whom I have been searching for all my life - you are the love of my life - and you are the one whom my heart desires the most! I realised that it's because of this reason that I call myself your Magdalene - the one who loved you the most - you are the one for whom my heart pines! 

And now that I have realised that let nothing come in between our love, Lord! Keep the world away from me and me from this world - let it be only you and me in our world. I pray that you keep me away from all the distractions of this world - let my heart be so entwined and immersed in your love that it doesn't need to worry about anyone and anything! 

I am all yours Lord - be always mine and protect your Magdalene from anything that may distract her from your love - let me always sit at your feet and understand what you have to say to me! I love you, Lord - do you love me as much as I do? Does your heart pine for me?