St. Edith Stein (St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross)

Dear DLL Jesus,

Hers is an equally beautiful story like all other Carmelite saints. But what I love about Edith Stein is that in 1933 at the age of forty-three, her dreams of entering a Carmelite monastery were finally fulfilled. She moved to a Carmelite Monastery in the Netherlands. This is what I like the most - she getting converted and living in a Carmelite monastery - what a beautiful place to live in - what a beautiful experience!

This is what inspires me the most - to be patient and wait – wait for your perfect timing in my life! If her desire to enter a monastery was fulfilled at the age of 43, even my long-cherished dream of living in a monastery will be fulfilled in your time. If not live, at least stay in a monastery for a few days as an OCDS member when we have our seminars and regional meets and Congress or even provincial level election - at that time, Lord, if it is your will, let me stay in a Carmelite monastery for a few days. Lord, I will wait patiently for that perfect timing!

Old Manuscripts

Today I found some old manuscripts of some of the short stories that I had written many many years ago when I aspired to be a short story writer. The stories have not yet seen the light of the day as I never forwarded my stories to anyone. These short stories are from a different genre and are very close to my heart. So I will publish them slowly here and be happy in my world. 

1988

Dear DLL Jesus, 

For many days now I have felt like writing about my life in the 1980s.

There are hardly many memories of the 1980s but they are happy ones - my dad had not yet become a ruthless man - he still liked me! 

The happiest memory of the 1980s is of my 12th birthday when my dad gave me 12 gifts. That was in 1988 and that year itself has happy memories for me. It was my 12th birthday and I had received 12 gifts from my dad. I was doing averagely good in my studies, at least passing in all subjects, I was the favourite of my class teacher and also of the Maths teacher. I don't know what happened to her afterwards - she suddenly stopped liking me - I was disheartened. But my class teacher who taught us English always liked me and she was the only person who ever called me beautiful. So I was extremely fond of her. 

It was the year QSQT was released and I had become a great fan of Aamir Khan. Since then many favourites have changed but he has been a constant favourite of mine!

I was an enthusiastic child and participated in all the school activities - just the way I participate in all the OCDS activities now! 

I had a garden which I loved ❤️ even though it hardly had any plants in it!

So basically 1988 is the most memorable year of my life!!!

Story of Life

Dear DLL Jesus, 

Today is the 6th of the month - the day I release my magazine every month and the day my Scripture reflections are circulated to everyone!🤗

These two things have already happened and I am very pleased with these happenings! The magazine has been receiving good reviews since the time I shared it on all social media platforms! No hard feelings this time!🤗

In the morning I received my pocket money as well - so no hard feelings there as well - and so the heart should have been happy as well - but it's not! This stupid heart is never happy! No matter how much I want to be happy, this heart doesn't allow me to be happy - it has its woes and is turning out to be a drama queen!

So now it heard the romantic songs on Spotify from the movies MPK "mere rang mein rangne wali" and from TEZAAB "Keh do ki tum ho meri Warna" and it has turned nostalgic and gone in the early 1990s. Lingering there and trying to make me sentimental. Whenever this happens all the memories keep flashing - how much my life has been influenced by these Bollywood songs and movies! I wonder what must be the condition of others - how could they be spared from the Bollywood temptations and focus on life - studies and careers - all the intellectual PhD degree holders, how could they manage to keep themselves away from such distraction? Be sure of what they want to achieve in life. I wonder about the kind of discipline and self-control they must have endured. Or was it family pressure? I had my kind of family pressure. These intellectuals must have had their kind of pressure - sometimes I wonder and feel like asking about their story of life!

Feast of St. John Mary Vianney

Keep them, I pray Thee, dearest Lord,

keep them, for they are Thine

Thy priests whose lives burn out

before Thy consecrated shrine.

Keep them, for they are in the world,

though from the world apart;

when earthly pleasures tempt, allure

shelter them in Thy heart.

Keep them, and comfort them

in hours of loneliness and pain,

when all their lives of sacrifice

for souls seems but in vain.

Keep them, and O remember, Lord,

they have no one but Thee,

yet they have only human hearts,

with human frailty.

Keep them as spotless as the Host,

that daily they caress;

their every thought and word and deed,

Deign, dearest Lord, to bless.

The 1990s

A lot happened in the 1990s,

When my heart was infected with numerous fatalities!

Some I liked didn't like me,

The eyes cried and had many queries! 

Teary-eyed I clutched my Teddu,

Grim-faced I confided in Motu,

With a sad smile, I caressed Snoopy 

And gently relinquished being sleepy.

This was my life in the 1990s

Until I learned to shatter my dreams!

Then I realised life could be awful

With never-ending yells and screams! 

Lord, I beg you to give me a few days now

To live life to the fullest,

To enjoy the resplendent affection

That felt like two and a half days in heaven!

Everything seems hazy!

Dear DLL Jesus, 

I want to write something. 

But I don't know what to write. 

My mind isn't working as nothing seems right.

The feeling that I am going through is driving me crazy. There are tears welling in my eyes, everything seems hazy.

Now, what did I do to receive such treatment?

Oh, in what way did I make a wrong statement?

The heart is unable to understand,

That I am never to enter my Promised Land.

Lord, please help me to overlook this bypass.

Soothe my heart with your loving stars.