31 January

Dear DLL Jesus,

31 January is yet another important day of my life.🤗 

This is the day, in 2004, I came to know that I was expecting a child for the second time.🤗 It was a Saturday evening and I had gone to the doctor after returning from my office. It was at that point that the news got confirmed.🤗 So I am quite sentimental about this day.

Thus when the freelance job offer to join back the gems and jewellery industry was given to me last year on this day, I just grabbed it.🤗 I grabbed it because I was tired of being jobless and wanted to do something constructive. Obviously, I wrote to you about it and took it as your will for me to get started afresh professionally.🤗

I am sure this has been your will for me as I am still in the gems and jewellery industry.🤗 It has in fact been an extremely fruitful exposure for me as I have managed to make a comeback in my favourite industry. So thank you so much, Lord, for giving such a beautiful push to my professional life.🤗 Forever indebted to you for being able to make a mark in the media - all over again!😇 

Thank you also for the lipid profile test that was done yesterday - everything is normal and under control health-wise too! Thank you so much for your love and care for us!!!🙏🏻😇🙏🏻

PS: Even today's Gospel is one of my favourite ones of that of the woman haemorrhaging for 12 years. It always manages to touch my heart as you have healed me too from the same problem.🙏🏻

PS 2: So I decided to start Duolingo all over again (the third time) on this beautiful day to make it further beautiful and memorable. Today's subject is Italian!🤗♥️🤗 Now I intend to continue every day like my first stint!

PS 3: And how can I forget to write about how I started my day today? Today I started my day by saying the Lauds!😇 When my alarm rang for the second time at 6:15 am I couldn't go back to sleep. I tried to but I could not. So the small soft voice within whispered to me to get up and say the Lauds. So I woke up wide a little before 6:30 am and did my morning prayers - it felt so nice!🤗😇🤗 So Lord if it is your will, please wake me up every day to say my morning prayers this early!🙏🏻

Mark 5: 18-19

Dear DLL Jesus,

While I was typing today's verses (Mark 5: 18-19) as my WhatsApp status and then my Instagram post, I was also reflecting upon them. And my understanding of these two verses is that not everyone has the same calling. You have given different people different ways of following you. 

The calling for your initial disciples was different from the calling for this man in today's gospel. Your disciples Peter, John, Mathew and others had to leave their present way of life to follow you whereas this man had to be with his friends and family to follow you.

Thus, our priests and nuns have to leave everything to follow you whereas your followers like me have to remain with our family and friends to follow you. We all are following you albeit differently. There's no difference between our love for you and the intensity of following you. Only our ways are different because our calling is different.

So Lord please don't allow my heart to tremble in Ryshivana. I can't be there forever. I belong in the secular world in a different way of life. I am like this man from whom you have removed the legion of demons. I can't be with you forever in Ryshivana. I have to be in my family praising and thanking you for what you have done for us, for your love and mercy upon us.

Please Lord please take control of my heart!🙏🏻🙏🏻 Let it not try to play games with me in the divine silence of Ryshivana.

I love you and my Peace!

Dear DLL Jesus,

Today's gospel has references to Abraham in it and while I was reading it, I thought about the covenant that God had made to him - the covenant of the Promised Land. This made me think that even though God had made this promise to Abraham, it got fulfilled in God's own time. 

The words "God's own time" made me think of the time I got my Peace in Carmel - at the most unexpected time, Lord you most unexpectedly showed me my Peace!🤗 I don't know the reason why? 

In today's gospel passage Lord you again made me realize that you have your own ways and your own time - your ways are so different from the human ways and everything is possible with you.🤗 But I still wonder why did you show my Peace in Carmel. I am assuming that you can't see me wandering in the wilderness anymore - so you have felt pity for me.🤗 That's the reason you have given me my much-promised land so that I wander no more!🤗

So be it, Lord!

I affirm that you have felt pity for my wanderings and have shown me my Promised Land so that I settle down and wander no more!🤗🤗

Thank you so much for my Peace, Lord!🤗

I love you and my Peace a lot!!!🤗💖🤗

25 January 2012

Today is the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul the Apostle. He's a patron of authors, evangelists, journalists, lay people, public relations personnel, public relations workers, publishers, reporters, writers, newspaper editorial staff, and many more.🤗 But I have a different connection with him.

A connection of the conversion of heart that we both experienced. He writes about this conversion of his heart in his letters in the New Testament. It was precisely on this day, in 2012, that I too underwent a conversion of heart while reading his Letters. I was in my second year of Bible studies and we were learning the epistles of St. Paul. I always wanted to be a step ahead in my understanding of the Bible and thus was doing my private research on the letters of St. Paul.🤗 

And with good reason as no one had experienced a more dramatic conversion than St. Paul on the road to Damascus! 

It was during this private research that I too experienced my dramatic conversion - I was not on the road but in front of my office computer - the more I read, the more I kept falling in love with Jesus! It was really a dramatic experience for me even though I was not blinded literally. In fact, my spiritual blindness was healed and I started seeing Jesus in a different light.💖 

My conversion was begun when St. Paul's writing allowed Jesus to enter my heart and took over my life completely. As for me, I allowed Jesus to do with me whatever he wanted to and this brought about a total transformation in me. There was no looking back since then. That's why 2012 was an extremely important year of my life - the year I took up a lot of ministries in the church.

In both mine and St. Paul's cases, the conversion has been instantaneous. Since then I have had a conversion practically every day - I am evolving and it is an ongoing process.

Thus, whatever I am today, is only because of his thirteen epistles. No wonder he is called the apostle of the nations - he has been instrumental in giving me too the right faith in Christ and the reason why I hold him in such high esteem is that I converted my heart on the same day of his conversion of heart. So I feel privileged to be sharing this same date of conversion. 25 January is the golden day of my life. To be precise - 25 January 2012.

I love you, Infant Jesus!

Dear DLL Infant Jesus,

I love you in a way I can't explain because I don't understand the love that I have for you - it is a strange kind of love - I love you differently as an adult and as an infant - I just don't understand it myself!🌝 But I really, really love you so much!🤗♥️🤗

Praying to you as an infant gives me a different feeling and praying to you as an adult gives me a totally different feeling! I don't understand this feeling as well.🤗

This statue of yours has been put up at our parish for the novenas and your feast next Saturday and Sunday. I clicked this photo on Thursday while coming back from the OCDS meeting.🤗 I have made this photo the home screen photo of my tab.

Tearful Tuesday

Dear DLL Jesus, 

I am continuously thinking about them - and the more I think about them, the more I want to be with them!😥 I was in tears while scrubbing vessels in the afternoon. The desire of joining them had first come to me on that tearful Tuesday morning on 17 May 2022 when I had gone to visit the cloistered Carmel sisters in Bangalore. The two-day training program on the new OCDS statutes had a great effect on me when I came to know that I can be buried in my scapular and OCDS could be written on my headstone. And then when I visited them I wanted to join them.

I kept thinking about all the possibilities of joining them as a married person. I don't want to be a financial burden on my girls and don't want to pressurize them for money the way the in-laws do. I don't want to struggle for shelter the way my mother does. I love Carmel from the bottom of my heart and since I found my Peace here, I desire to be on the other side of it. It is a strong desire which has got stronger today. It is your will - on which side I should be in the evening of my life.👏

It is a desire that has become stronger on your annual Feast Day at Carmel Hill. Let your will be done in my life - let your plans prevail!🙏🏻

PS: This is the feeling that I always get whenever I visit these convents and monasteries - there's this strong power that pulls me towards them.😥

Cloistered Carmel

Dear DLL Jesus,

Today again we, as OCDS members, went to meet the cloistered sisters in Andheri. I guess this is the fourth time that I have been to a cloistered Carmel - thrice in Andheri (including today) and once in Bangalore (May 2022)!

This time I did not get the kind of pull that I got in my past visits!😥 So I wanted to sleep after posting the photos on Facebook as I had woken up at 5 am to go meet with them at 8:30 am.

But I could not sleep. I started thinking about them - their happy smiling faces started floating in my mind's eyes. It was at that time that I started feeling that pull I always felt while I was at the cloistered Carmel - it was then that I again longed to be there - inside the walls of the convent - either gardening or bathing the clean and cute white dog that I saw there!🤗 That's the desire of the heart - to be a part of the cloistered Carmel! And so, today again I got it confirmed - yes, even married women can join them provided the family allows her! So I don't know what to do - perhaps I will just keep visiting them and providing them with whatever they need - I have made up my mind - whenever possible I will try to provide for their needs even though they are self-sufficient!🙏🏻 They bake their bread and make hosts for us and I suppose candles, pickles and jams! Different convents are into making different things! Basically they are hardworking!

And truthful - they don't send any "good morning dear" and "good night dear" messages to anyone - because they are not on Whatsapp!🙏🏻 They wake up early at 4:30 am, have their lunch at 11:15 am and have supper at 6:30 pm. They are sincere and simple-hearted people without an iota of deceit in their hearts. I like them genuinely and I will surely go out of my way to support them! Lord, give me the grace to live up to my decision of supporting them till the time I can!!!👏

PS: Today is the first day of the Infant Jesus feast at Carmel Hill, Mangalore! Let your will be done Lord in my life and also the lives of my people!🙏🏻

2023 News Flash

Dear DLL Jesus,

As per my watchword for 2023, I immersed myself so much in my work today, that I feel like a typical reporter hunting for her news story right now!😬 Since morning I have been scrolling for news and uploading them in the above format on all my social media platforms - I am feeling so exhausted and excited to do this - I don't know why I am doing this but I want to continue doing so until I get a better idea!😄

I will also continue to 

1) Walk to the church for my 

2) Daily Mass and 

3) Save money this way! I need a lot of money for my activities in the next two months. 

So, please lord, please be with me to achieve all these!🙏