Does your heart pine for me?

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy......."

Dear DLL Jesus,

These Scripture words from yesterday's evening prayer and then for the meditation at the OCDS meeting gave me the answer to my interior battles with which I have been struggling for quite some time now. I realised that if I love you so much without seeing you, how much would I have loved you if I had to see you? I realised that you are that unseen one whom I have been searching for all my life - you are the love of my life - and you are the one whom my heart desires the most! I realised that it's because of this reason that I call myself your Magdalene - the one who loved you the most - you are the one for whom my heart pines! 

And now that I have realised that let nothing come in between our love, Lord! Keep the world away from me and me from this world - let it be only you and me in our world. I pray that you keep me away from all the distractions of this world - let my heart be so entwined and immersed in your love that it doesn't need to worry about anyone and anything! 

I am all yours Lord - be always mine and protect your Magdalene from anything that may distract her from your love - let me always sit at your feet and understand what you have to say to me! I love you, Lord - do you love me as much as I do? Does your heart pine for me?

God's Wonderful People

Today's Entrance Hymn

I love the thrill that I feel

when I get together with

God's wonderful people

Love the thrill that I feel

when I get together with

God's wonderful people

What a sight just to see

all the happy faces

Praising God in heavenly places

What a thrill that I feel

when I get together with

God"s wonderful people

Now it can be just anywhere

Two or three are gathered there

That the spirit of the Lord

will be there too

There's no fellowship so sweet

No thrill can compete

With the thrill, I feel

whenever God's children meet

And on that great reunion day

When our Lord says, 'Come away

And the saints from every land

stream through the gate

Joining loved ones around the throne

At last, we'll all be gathered home

That will be the greatest

the thrill we've ever known

I love the thrill that I feel

when I get together with

God's wonderful people

Love the thrill that I feel

when I get together with

God's wonderful people

What a sight just to see

all the happy faces

Praising God in heavenly places

What a thrill that I feel

when I get together with

God's wonderful people

I love the thrill that I feel

when I get together with

God's wonderful people

Love the thrill that I feel

when I get together with

God's wonderful people

St. Teresa of Avila

Today is the solemnity of St. Teresa of Avila. Since morning I have been receiving forwards on Whatsapp and reading a lot of posts on Facebook. I revere her for being the Founder of the Discalced Carmelites along with St. John of the Cross. They are the Founders of our Order. Without their reformation, our Order would not have existed today. So we owe it to them both.

And it was Blessed John Soreth who included the laity in the religious Order. So a heartfelt thanks to Blessed John Soreth for thinking about us - let him indeed be blessed. 

If I am not wrong did Fr. Rudolph too say something similar? That the origin of the Carmelites on Mount Carmel was through a group of lay people coming together? The priesthood came much later. 

So again a sincere thanks to those Crusaders for establishing this beautiful garden. And I feel so honoured and privileged to be a part of this perfumed garden of Carmel - thank you, Lord, for giving me a small space in this huge garden!!!

Forever indebted.......!

Monastic Life

Dear DLL Jesus,

Today is the day when I just want to go on looking at the photographs and go on writing to you about them!!!🤗 The more I see them the more I want to write to you about them!🤭 But I don't know what exactly to write to you!

The heart is extremely overwhelmed by the whole trip to the Infant Jesus shrine. My love for this beautiful place is simply overflowing right now! But it is not that I am getting the desire to live there - the way it had happened to me in May when I went to Bangalore. It is a feeling that I am unable to explain - I don't want to live in this monastery - no, there's an extremely different kind of feeling that I am getting this time - I can't name it but it could perhaps be "loneliness" - maybe that's it - because I am not getting the same vibes that I got in the Goa monastery - this monastery has a very sombre look and feel - a lot lonelier than Goa. Any which way, it was not a monastery in Bangalore. 

But the Carmel Hill monastery or seminary did not give me a positive vibe - I felt lost and lonely, I managed only because of Fr. Michael, Fr. Lancy and Fr. Deep - even though the others were equally good to me, somehow the monastic life of the young seminarians overwhelmed me - this time I felt that I cannot live that kind of life. Last evening when I was sitting alone listening to Fr. Rudolph's 6 pm Konkani Mass, I was in so much tears that I wanted to come back home at that very moment! Thank you for sending the angel in the form of that priest/deacon who rescued me by speaking to me. That made me get up and go start talking to Fr. Michael - that conversation rejuvenated me a lot! That was the time I started feeling bad for the seminarians studying there - what a hard and disciplined life they live - do everything at the ringing of the bell - unlike last time in Bangalore, this kind of life scared me - I wondered why are their lives so hard - I feel like crying even now while writing this - oh, I am already in tears!😢 Please accept my prayers for them, Lord! My sincere prayers are to strengthen them in this way of life - not only for the young seminarians but the priests also - what an austere and hard life they live and we dare to judge them! They are set apart for you - perhaps that's why you made me sit there outside and brought this enlightenment - make me realize where everyone has been going wrong! 

Thus,  it is my humble request to you to please remind me every day to pray for all your priests and seminarians - even though I may not remember, from today I am dedicating my prayers to them - don't make them feel lonely the way I felt yesterday evening - please strengthen them to carry on the work you have entrusted to them!

Martha and Mary

Dear DLL Jesus,

This morning my eyes opened at 7:50 AM and I scrambled out of the bed to rush to the bathroom as water had already come!🙃 While all this was happening I told myself that I can't afford to wake up so late in Mangalore. The Carmelites wake up so early in the morning and right now most probably they must be having their breakfast! The reply I got from myself was that they have chosen that kind of life!

The moment that thought came to me I remembered Martha and Mary. You told Martha that Mary had 'chosen' one thing and that will not be taken away from her. It was then I realized that the Carmelites were the Marys and I was Martha. I realized that all the laypeople are Marthas and all the priests & religious are Marys. 

I always thought that I was Mary but today I got a different understanding - that I am actually Martha! 

But Martha though I am I would still like to call myself Mary and be at your feet and listen to your every word - as you are aware Lord "my heart is never at peace until it finds its rest in you."🤗